As promised I have completed all 8 steps on becoming a better person and I must say it has been a tough thing to achieve. The final steps in the process occurred over this past week and a half (or so). What better time to become a better person than over the holiday weekend. At first I thought it would be impossible but ALAS (is that how you say/spell it?) it is done.
Step 6 – Take Better Care of Yourself. many can see this as a health issue or physical issue but I took it as putting myself first in all things .. hungry? Why yes I am … sleepy? Yes I am . . . so on and so on – that lasted for about 30 minutes in my house before all three of my children began to laugh at me. Well I tried :0)
Step 7 – Show Your Appreciation. Hmmmm NEXT!
Step 8 – Explore Your Spirituality. As you can see there is a way to put all three of these final steps together in one swift move. Yup – you’ve guessed it. Naked Lady On Airplane. GENIUS right?
Now take a moment and think of this intelligent woman’s quest to becoming better. There are soo many controversies over this whole “harassment-touch-me-please-x-ray-vision-my-private-areas” thing going on. I personally love LOVED the feel up I got by the security and found nothing wrong – because I used the Naked Lady on Airplane technique. Hold your applause I know I know pure genius!
Upon arrival to the airport make sure you are fully naked under your long jacket (since you’ve already incorporated Step 6 your fully shaved groomed and showered) and if your really trying to score points (which I did :wink wink:) use a glittered toilette. Check in your baggage and head on up to the security. Hey listen, I know I get it your excited at this point I totally feel you! Ok ok back to the becoming a better you. Once you get to your groper show your appreciation by helping them out. Direct their hands to the places you’ve gone out of your way of preparing and SMILE. Oh yes dont forget to SMILE. While they feel you up or what they call “secure the safety of your fellow passengers” proceed with Step 8 by shouting THANK YOU LORD (or whatever/whomever you give thanks to) OH GOD THANK YOU. And there you have it Steps 6 7 & 8 all wrapped in one 🙂 CONGRATULATIONS you are a BETTER you. (I still firmly believe in my idea for security: Develop a booth that you can step into that will NOT x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or IN your body. The explosion will be contained within the sealed booth. This would be a win-win for everyone. There would be none of this crap about racial profiling and the device would eliminate long and expensive trials.- but thats just me).
Tomorrow brings on a whole new month and a whole new goal. Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was full of dysfunction and food. And remember its only the beginning, we still have Christmas with our families.
"Me, a name I call myself" 