Archive for the ‘ Health ’ Category

Friday Factual maybe?

Hey all sorry I skipped last Friday (still a bit blurry on what exactly happened that day-dont judge me)

Before I go into my factual fart-en-haggens I wanted to express how very proud I am of Lemon Grove Senior Division All Stars who are known in this series as team West and are currently in Bangor, Maine in the Semi-Finals today!!!!!  Tomorrow is the World Series and it will be televised on ESPN U.  I am an extremely proud momma and although I can not be there in person my heart is there completely.

 

With that being said and without further a-do (is that right?)

A typist fingers travel over twelve and a half miles in an average day

So can I count that as my daily exercise?

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Facebook – I see you

Well good morning good morning

Now that I have my cup of Joe and more importantly you can see my pretty nails (I’m so proud of my new girly art skills) , lets get into the lovely topic of Facebook.

My husband and I decided that leaving facebook was the best for us.  We felt that privacy was a HUGE factor and also we really didnt see it as a positive tool in our lives.  Since then our teenagers have made it a habitual daily thing to log every piece of their lives online for all to see.  Although we dont have a facebook we do have our ways of monitoring whats being posted by our teens.  One of those ways is their other parents.  My daughter’s dad monitors her facebook religously and we thought my step sons mom would monitor his posts as well.

For the past couple of weeks my step son has been very verbal about things that go on in our home.  Of course I’m a step parent so of course I was the target.  Its all good though, being a parent and not a friend to your child can do that especially if your the “step” parent.  I wont go into it in detail but I will say this – shame on you and thank you.  Catching his handy work and the non mention of certain people’s actions actually provided a great communication exercise that benefited our lil family.  It also proves exactly what type of person(s) are out there.  Lets grow up, shall we.

Okay time for the catch up wrap up . . . . . Since September I have celebrated 10 years of marriage (bowing and thanking all of my 4 supporters/fans), had a full hysterectomy and got really good at smiling even though I feel like smashing everything in sight.  So in summary “the good the bad and the ugly” (HA good one!).

I was home recovering from surgery for almost 7 weeks – I managed to watch every season and every episode of Greys Anatomy.    Hello, a show about surgeons after going under the knife made perfect sense.  Plus my husband and I caught up on The Walking Dead.  Great shows but man did I have nightmares.  First being cut open and dying on the table to coming back to life trying to eat everyone in sight.  Yikes.

Gosh it feels good to be back.

6 Minute Rule

In honor of Cinco De Mayo (insert aye aye aye!-here) I now present the 6 min rule (6?     5?   you say tomato I say apple)

This morning as I drove my boys to school we had one our in depth conversations.  You know the ones where we all sit and deal with life and all its complexities (geez is that even a word??). 

“Mom, its 7:28 your going to be late”

“Nah, I have till 7:36 then I’m officially late.”

“Oh thats like us, the bell rings and we have 5 or 6 minutes to get to class and in our seat.”

Hmmmmm and my mind began to ponder.  We are all preordained into a 6 minute cushion.  I thought back to my school days and yes, yes I remember we got an extra 5 to 6 minutes to get to our seat once the bell rang.  Or even to our line, remember elementary school we all had to line up on the black top once the bell rang?  Everyone knew we had 6 minutes to make it to the line before walking in. 

It doesnt just stop there, we then as adults get into other cushions.  We all know about the 10 day “grace period” for certain bills.  Or how about the 3 second rule?  Or even the 20 min wait to go swimming after eating, I mean is that even true?  I’m afraid to do otherwise and prove the theory right HA!  Can you imagine the news headline will say “Dumb Ass Woman drowns for not following the 20 min rule BEFORE swimming after eating”.  Maybe the 20 min rule isnt quite the same thing but you know what I mean. 

Cushions, who knew?

Obsessions

Oh it must be hump day cause I’m feeling groovy

Over these past three and a half weeks I have been hard at work trying to improve my body both inside and out.  I’ve had to make some small sacrifices but in the end it will be all worth it.  Through my interesting (short) journey I have developed some new obsessions.  Dont Judge

#1 – WATER and not just any water I have been obsessing over Desani.  Up to 2 Liters a day and I swear if I pee one more – DAMN be right back!

#2 – Kettlebells – after using these babies I cant imagine working out with out them

#3 – Panty Liners – Have you ever complete a hard weight workout and then hit the treadmill for 15 minutes on an incline routine?  If you have then you know your butt and “area’s” sweat.  If yours dont then well EFF off cause mine do!  And I prefer NOT to go into the grocery store with a wet croch, thank you very much.

#4 – Romaine Lettuce – These are THEE best thing EVER!  If you have some tuna and some sandwich spread – mix those bitches up and spread it in this fine piece of lettuce with a sliver of Zesty dill pickle and you got yourself a MEE-YUUMIE lunch.  Dont get me started on the plethora of wraps you can make with these bad boys!!

#5 – Barefoot Wine – Since I have been a non-beer drinker this handy dandy wine selection has been such a great thirst quencher.

#6 – Naked Juice SMOOTHIES – honestly the only reason I love them is because I like saying “I just had me a naa-ked” bar-chicka-wow-wow HA!

#6 – Ice Cubes – no not the rapper the actual ICE – water is boring boring boring with added texture its somewhat tolerable.  PLUS ice cubes in your wine help dilute it a bit :sigh: have I said Spring/Summer suck???  No?!?!  Damn shorts damn swimsuits damn them all!

#7 – Liquid Gel Advil – I just need to say one word – SORE.  These are a must have!

#8 – My iPod and earbuds – What would I do without my dearest iPod?  If I had to listen to my breathing and complaining while I workout I would seriously throw my workout DVD’s through a window.  :note to self send apology note to downstairs neighbors: who knew a DVD can do so much damage?? 

My last obsession is a little tricky to post – so I’ll just say it vibrates :wink wink: HA!

Have a great DAY!  WOO HOO manana es Cinco De Mayo – Orale HAHAHAHA

Spring I HATE you

Yes, its Spring and the birds are chirping and the kids are getting ready for Spring Break.  As each day ends its another reminder of how close summer is.  And of course in the mail Victoria Secret reminds me of how much I have lacked my motivation (pretty much given up) on achieving my summer goal.  Victoria you can kiss it.

My best friend came over the other day and we got to talkin, at my age it seems my “in shape” clock has begun to slow down.  Things dont function quite the same as they used to.  And some parts dont stand up to ridicule like they used to.  You know “talking” about exercising is all fine and dandy but actually doing it is a PAIN IN THE ASS. 

I have had weights here at work for almost two months now.  I have purchased a Yoga DVD and its still in its wrapper.  I used to be full of energy – ready to take on the world and now all I want to do is sleep.  What happen to me?  No NO dont say it, I’m NOT old!  I’m only 32!  Isnt that the new 25?  When I was 25 my butt stood proud and now it seems its sooo sad. 

Well I came in this morning and did about 10 minutes of weights and squats.  It felt pretty good.  I figure I can do another 10 minutes around 10 o’clock and another at 2 o’clock.  Thats about 30 minutes during the day.  Not to bad if you break it down.  And I just may open that Yoga DVD and attempt 30 minutes of that while my pot roast is in the oven.  And why stop there . . maybe I can get about 5 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.  Yea Yea thats the ticket – PFFFFTTTT like I said its easier to “talk” about it and such a pain in the ass to actually do it. 

I’ll let you all know if I got through day one.     

Spring I HATE you.

I made it through

Well what an interesting baseball game.  My son did a great job!  I was very impressed and I was also impressed with all the mixed emotions of lil ol me there amongst all my true best friends – NOT. 

Between the stares and the wispers, I actually enjoyed most of the game.  I did however, sit on the bleachers and that is something I never do.  I usually sit at the furthest end of the field, depending on which side my son is on.  Unfortunatley, I forgot my handy dandy chair so I played nice on the bleachers. 

One thing you must know about me, when I get nervous or uncomfortable I tend to chit chat about NONSENSE.  I dont talk smack I just talk about the most random things.  Another bad habit I need to kick.  I should have drank at least a six pack before I went. 

With that said I have gained so much “beer” weight its CRAZY!  Does anyone know of a pilates class thats cheap????  Or a great video of pilates?  I tried the 90x thing and because I live upstairs the downstairs neighbors have a bit of a problem with me working out.  I just dont understand, I drink most of my meals and I’m still gettin a booty hahahaha well theres nothing wrong with that except for all the damn dimples!!!  How am I gunna wear my monokini with cheese hanging out my bottom???  You see, random NONSENSE!!!  Gotta love a talker  – Silver Lining 😉

Pilates the Great

Is it already almost February?  Did I fall asleep somewhere and miss about two weeks??!?!  Well CRAP! 

With that being said and all the blogs about “getting healthy” and “eating right” to the fitness guru’s shouting “GET READY FOR SUMMER – get your summer bod in 6 weeks!”  bleh bleh bleh … I find myself running out of time to get an actual routine going that will make me want to workout.  You see for me (as you have read before) I get a green grass up my butt and decide to go crazy and work my flabs out.  I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.  I HATE running and although I have a pooch in my lower abdomen I refuse to give up my booze.  Now, back to the healthy crap. 

I have been drinking more water and have been making healthier choices on my lunch menu.  I have even started Pilates.  Now now dont go all crazy, its not like I take a class or go to the gym.  I watch the girl on my blackberry with ear buds on and do it at home :).  At first when all I did was watch the bi**h do it I thought “that sh*t is easy!  And each video is only 10 min NO problem I got this” The first day I went home and brought out the yoga mat I was psyched up.  Ready to go, even brought out a 15lb dumb bell so I could do my squats and lunges after.  Pfffft this was gunna be a breaze!  OH HELL it soooo wasnt!  Has anyone done Pilates?  Anyone???  HOLY crap and the magnificent (I cant call her the “b” word anymore – too much respect) woman taking you through it was talking at the same time!  I couldnt stop shaking!  I couldnt even complete all the routines!

I did the best I could and SCREW the squats and lunges at this point.  But all in all I felt great after.  My core felt like I put in some work and I only had two glasses of wine instead of the full bottle (well mainly because I was still shaking and that didnt feel nice).  The next morning I cursed every stair I had to climb.  I didnt give a rats ass if I looked crazy or like I had a stick up my butt I was SORE!

The second night of Pilates were intense!  I made noises I never knew I could make.  Yea I may have cursed a few times and actually almost completed a few routines without resting or wanting to puke.  And after I did a full 5 minutes of squats and lunges (hey its a start). 

So far its been 5 full days of at home pilates/squats/lunges each day lasting about 20 minutes.  I am honestly preparing myself for that P90X thing.  My friend not only uses it but sells it.  I am in no hurry to have a bikini body.  I figure 2 to 3 months should give me enough time . . . right?  Ugh I hate being a girl!