Everyone has a memory or has a story of a friend’s memory from childhood of walking in on parents having sex, right? Oh yea . . . . I’ve touched that inner fear, that locked away image you keep extra tight way deep in your secret memory vault you so want to forget. A HA! Well we have given that same gift to our youngest. And boy was it a doosie.
Like normal couples with children, we all have a designated time when we can do the dirty. Some prefer the closet, some prefer the bathroom. All in all, if you have children you have to coordinate the sexual escapades just right to prevent the scream of horror and utter embarrassment of your children catching you in the act. For years my husband and I have been the braggers amongst our friends with children who havent been caught. They all have said “just wait, you guys will have your day” and we never thought it would happen to us. We have both experienced the nightmare of catching a friend’s parents going at it and we would pay top dollar to get that image removed from our memory. 
Oh yea we were amongst the few, the elite set of parents who could brag well that is until last Wednesday night. (insert dum DUM DUUUUMMMM sound here).
It started off as any other spring vacation day. My husband and I took the day off work to take our youngest to a Padre game. We had amazing seats. Our youngest was absolutely thrilled. And because we’re high rollers (NOT) we sat in the all-you-can-eat section. The day was perfect, great view, great food and great drinks! We ran into one of my son’s friends there, they didnt have the wrist ban for the food so we made a deal. We’ll give you all the hotdogs/drinks/popcorn/peanuts you want in exchange for beer (oh come one now thats a deal!). Remember its ALL YOU CAN EAT. The kids had a blast. They caught some balls and we enjoyed our beers.
All in all it was a good day. My son beamed from ear to ear telling his older brother and sister about his day at the ballpark.
That evening, like normal, we all get the ready for bed. Nothing out of the ordinary. And like normal 2:00AM rolls around and I feel a *tap tap tap* on my shoulder and its mommy and daddy time (OH YEAH). I’m not sure when it happened but IT DID and we heard “OH MY GOD DAD GET OFF MY MOMMY!!” then SLAM of the bathroom door
. Of course my husband was as suave as a deer caught in the headlights scrambling to get himself together, where as I just laid there and thought “maybe if I stay real still no one will see me” – uh no – that didnt work.
I immediately asked my husband if we should go talk to him and of course he said “no babe it’s all good he’ll be fine he’ll forget all about it” . . another wrong move. First thing the next morning my son runs out to the dining room and begins to laugh.
Siah (while he’s humping the air shouts) – “You guys are gross – Dad you were all crazy on top of mom! I cant believe you were making a baby last night! Mom said you weren’t going to have anymore you guys lied!”
Dad – “we weren’t making a baby.”
Siah – “eww then you were putting it in my mom on purpose????”
Dad – “Pop, we do that all the time”
Siah – “Well not anymore, I’m gunna start sleeping with you guys. Your gunna break my mom dad!”
At that we left things alone (mostly because we couldnt stop laughing and I know I was RED from embarrassment). I decided to talk to him about it later when my husband wasnt around. But I know my son will NEVER forget what he saw. He must have told his brother and sister a 100 times and some of his cousins about his ordeal. OH the joy of Marriage and Children.
