Archive for the ‘ Goal ’ Category

Watcha Think Wednesday!!!

I wanted to share some (not all) amazing pictures of my son (step-politically correct)!!!!!  World Series Baby!!!!

No words can express how proud I am of my baby and his entire team!

I can absolutely say I am TRULY blessed!

Obsessions

Oh it must be hump day cause I’m feeling groovy

Over these past three and a half weeks I have been hard at work trying to improve my body both inside and out.  I’ve had to make some small sacrifices but in the end it will be all worth it.  Through my interesting (short) journey I have developed some new obsessions.  Dont Judge

#1 – WATER and not just any water I have been obsessing over Desani.  Up to 2 Liters a day and I swear if I pee one more – DAMN be right back!

#2 – Kettlebells – after using these babies I cant imagine working out with out them

#3 – Panty Liners – Have you ever complete a hard weight workout and then hit the treadmill for 15 minutes on an incline routine?  If you have then you know your butt and “area’s” sweat.  If yours dont then well EFF off cause mine do!  And I prefer NOT to go into the grocery store with a wet croch, thank you very much.

#4 – Romaine Lettuce – These are THEE best thing EVER!  If you have some tuna and some sandwich spread – mix those bitches up and spread it in this fine piece of lettuce with a sliver of Zesty dill pickle and you got yourself a MEE-YUUMIE lunch.  Dont get me started on the plethora of wraps you can make with these bad boys!!

#5 – Barefoot Wine – Since I have been a non-beer drinker this handy dandy wine selection has been such a great thirst quencher.

#6 – Naked Juice SMOOTHIES – honestly the only reason I love them is because I like saying “I just had me a naa-ked” bar-chicka-wow-wow HA!

#6 – Ice Cubes – no not the rapper the actual ICE – water is boring boring boring with added texture its somewhat tolerable.  PLUS ice cubes in your wine help dilute it a bit :sigh: have I said Spring/Summer suck???  No?!?!  Damn shorts damn swimsuits damn them all!

#7 – Liquid Gel Advil – I just need to say one word – SORE.  These are a must have!

#8 – My iPod and earbuds – What would I do without my dearest iPod?  If I had to listen to my breathing and complaining while I workout I would seriously throw my workout DVD’s through a window.  :note to self send apology note to downstairs neighbors: who knew a DVD can do so much damage?? 

My last obsession is a little tricky to post – so I’ll just say it vibrates :wink wink: HA!

Have a great DAY!  WOO HOO manana es Cinco De Mayo – Orale HAHAHAHA

Spring I HATE you

Yes, its Spring and the birds are chirping and the kids are getting ready for Spring Break.  As each day ends its another reminder of how close summer is.  And of course in the mail Victoria Secret reminds me of how much I have lacked my motivation (pretty much given up) on achieving my summer goal.  Victoria you can kiss it.

My best friend came over the other day and we got to talkin, at my age it seems my “in shape” clock has begun to slow down.  Things dont function quite the same as they used to.  And some parts dont stand up to ridicule like they used to.  You know “talking” about exercising is all fine and dandy but actually doing it is a PAIN IN THE ASS. 

I have had weights here at work for almost two months now.  I have purchased a Yoga DVD and its still in its wrapper.  I used to be full of energy – ready to take on the world and now all I want to do is sleep.  What happen to me?  No NO dont say it, I’m NOT old!  I’m only 32!  Isnt that the new 25?  When I was 25 my butt stood proud and now it seems its sooo sad. 

Well I came in this morning and did about 10 minutes of weights and squats.  It felt pretty good.  I figure I can do another 10 minutes around 10 o’clock and another at 2 o’clock.  Thats about 30 minutes during the day.  Not to bad if you break it down.  And I just may open that Yoga DVD and attempt 30 minutes of that while my pot roast is in the oven.  And why stop there . . maybe I can get about 5 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.  Yea Yea thats the ticket – PFFFFTTTT like I said its easier to “talk” about it and such a pain in the ass to actually do it. 

I’ll let you all know if I got through day one.     

Spring I HATE you.

Pilates the Great

Is it already almost February?  Did I fall asleep somewhere and miss about two weeks??!?!  Well CRAP! 

With that being said and all the blogs about “getting healthy” and “eating right” to the fitness guru’s shouting “GET READY FOR SUMMER – get your summer bod in 6 weeks!”  bleh bleh bleh … I find myself running out of time to get an actual routine going that will make me want to workout.  You see for me (as you have read before) I get a green grass up my butt and decide to go crazy and work my flabs out.  I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.  I HATE running and although I have a pooch in my lower abdomen I refuse to give up my booze.  Now, back to the healthy crap. 

I have been drinking more water and have been making healthier choices on my lunch menu.  I have even started Pilates.  Now now dont go all crazy, its not like I take a class or go to the gym.  I watch the girl on my blackberry with ear buds on and do it at home :).  At first when all I did was watch the bi**h do it I thought “that sh*t is easy!  And each video is only 10 min NO problem I got this” The first day I went home and brought out the yoga mat I was psyched up.  Ready to go, even brought out a 15lb dumb bell so I could do my squats and lunges after.  Pfffft this was gunna be a breaze!  OH HELL it soooo wasnt!  Has anyone done Pilates?  Anyone???  HOLY crap and the magnificent (I cant call her the “b” word anymore – too much respect) woman taking you through it was talking at the same time!  I couldnt stop shaking!  I couldnt even complete all the routines!

I did the best I could and SCREW the squats and lunges at this point.  But all in all I felt great after.  My core felt like I put in some work and I only had two glasses of wine instead of the full bottle (well mainly because I was still shaking and that didnt feel nice).  The next morning I cursed every stair I had to climb.  I didnt give a rats ass if I looked crazy or like I had a stick up my butt I was SORE!

The second night of Pilates were intense!  I made noises I never knew I could make.  Yea I may have cursed a few times and actually almost completed a few routines without resting or wanting to puke.  And after I did a full 5 minutes of squats and lunges (hey its a start). 

So far its been 5 full days of at home pilates/squats/lunges each day lasting about 20 minutes.  I am honestly preparing myself for that P90X thing.  My friend not only uses it but sells it.  I am in no hurry to have a bikini body.  I figure 2 to 3 months should give me enough time . . . right?  Ugh I hate being a girl!

Coregasm

As many of you know (all 4 of ya) I have been attempting to exercise these past couple of days and so far its been such a pleasure.  Literally.  Every evening I try to do at least 20 minutes on the elliptical and every morning I have been trying to do a quick 10 minute warm up/body tone.  Well the whole toning part has a great deal to do with the core aspect of it. 

Well this morning as I was attempting my Kettle-Bell 10 minute tone workout I felt something begin to happen.  I looked around and I thought “am I really getting turned on by something I hate to do?”.  As I got further into the workout I began to feel the pre-orgasm feelings begin to arise.  It began to get to the point where I I wanted to work out harder.  Am I a pervert?  Am I that addicted to sex that I turn to the Kettle-Bell for pleasure

I automatically wanted to call Celebrity Rehab and get Dr Drew on the phone.  I have an addiction I just know it!  I felt so ashamed.  (in case your wondering – yes I completed my workout very relaxed and satisfied) I didnt call Dr Drew but I did call my husband and tried my best to persuade him for a nooner but that didnt go as planned. 

When I got to work I began to research sex addiction and rehab (aka celebrities that are going through the same thing) and I came across an article on Fitbie.  The title “Coregasm”.  I immediately clicked and began to read.

 “It’s probable that feel-good feeling you get from contracting your muscles during core exercises can mimic those generated during genital-stimulated orgasms.”

IM NOT ALONE!  This is normal!!!  PHEW!  Well now I feel liberated.  Exercising has taken on a whole new mind set for me now.  No wonder most of these women on the DVD’s look so happy and refreshed.  I always hated them.  But now I want to BE them.  Can you imagine how many coregasms these women have?  AND they get a profit from it!  2011 here I come – more fit and much more satisfied :wink wink:

Steps 6 7 & 8

As promised I have completed all 8 steps on becoming a better person and I must say it has been a tough thing to achieve.  The final steps in the process occurred over this past week and a half (or so).  What better time to become a better person than over the holiday weekend.  At first I thought it would be impossible but ALAS (is that how you say/spell it?) it is done.

Step 6 – Take Better Care of Yourself.  many can see this as a health issue or physical issue but I took it as putting myself first in all things .. hungry?  Why yes I am … sleepy?  Yes I am . . . so on and so on – that lasted for about 30 minutes in my house before all three of my children began to laugh at me.  Well I tried :0)

Step 7 – Show Your Appreciation.  Hmmmm NEXT!

Step 8 – Explore Your Spirituality.  As you can see there is a way to put all three of these final steps together in one swift move.  Yup – you’ve guessed it.  Naked Lady On Airplane.  GENIUS right?

Now take a moment and think of this intelligent woman’s quest to becoming better.  There are soo many controversies over this whole “harassment-touch-me-please-x-ray-vision-my-private-areas” thing going on.  I personally love LOVED the feel up I got by the security and found nothing wrong – because I used the Naked Lady on Airplane technique.  Hold your applause I know I know pure genius!

Upon arrival to the airport make sure you are fully naked under your long jacket (since you’ve already incorporated Step 6 your fully shaved groomed and showered) and if your really trying to score points (which I did :wink wink:) use a glittered toilette.  Check in your baggage and head on up to the security.  Hey listen, I know I get it your excited at this point I totally feel you!  Ok ok back to the becoming a better you.  Once you get to your groper show your appreciation by helping them out.  Direct their hands to the places you’ve gone out of your way of preparing and SMILE.  Oh yes dont forget to SMILE.  While they feel you up or what they call “secure the safety of your fellow passengers” proceed with Step 8 by shouting THANK YOU LORD (or whatever/whomever you give thanks to) OH GOD THANK YOU.  And there you have it Steps 6 7 & 8 all wrapped in one 🙂 CONGRATULATIONS you are a BETTER you. (I still firmly believe in my idea for security: Develop a booth that you can step into that will NOT x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or IN your body.  The explosion will be contained within the sealed booth.  This would be a win-win for everyone.  There would be none of this crap about racial profiling and the device would eliminate long and expensive trials.- but thats just me).

Tomorrow brings on a whole new month and a whole new goal.  Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was full of dysfunction and food.  And remember its only the beginning, we still have Christmas with our families.

Step 4 & 5 – Use Your Strengths & Recognize Your Weaknesses

I thought step 4 and 5 should go together.  In order to do one you must know the other, right?  For example beer/wine is a weakness of mine so I must have the strength to know when to put the bottle down (I one day hope this will be a successful task until then . . ) But as I read further (Lifescript such a powerful message) thats not exactly what these steps mean.

I, of course, have no clue what my strengths or weaknesses are – so it says to ask someone close to you.  I began to think of all 4 friends of mine (dont be jealous) and thought carefully on who would be the best judgement for me (aka say the best things about me “weaknesses?  you?  never!”).  After long consideration (4 beers) I thought my husband would be the best bet.  After all, he has known me for 12 years and would be very careful with his words (I make him dinner and give him “goodies” on a regular).

“Babe, what would you say are my strengths?” I know he didnt mind me sparking up conversation while he was into his favorite movie – when a wife speaks time stops (I know right!)

“What do you mean?  Your a great mother and wife.”

“Thanks babe now what are my weaknesses?”

“This babe, this is your weakness” well crap. 

So of course I did what any wife would do at this point – probe deeper and find out exactly what this means.  There has to be a hidden meaning behind what he said.  How am I going to be a better person if my own husband thinks Im a crazy person??  All I did was ask him a few questions and this he said this is my weakness!?!  As I was about to open my mouth, let the tears pour out and spill my soul – he pauses the movie, gets up, heads to the kitchen, brings me a new cold beverage and gives me a kiss.  There was no need to say anything else.

Strengths & Weaknesses – everyone has them.  I have personally experienced my own – Have the strength to know when to shut the eff up, not everything is meant to hurt me some things are meant to remind me.  Well so far thats what I’ve learned.