Archive for the ‘ Beer ’ Category

Friday Fact – interesting

Before I begin divulging my most inner thoughts (caffeine induced rantings) I wanted to express me deepest condolences to the families in Aurora, Colorado.  My heart and prayers go out to all of those who have been affected.

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Now I came across this interesting fact kinda by accident.  For those who know me (it would be scary if you did and I didnt know you, but anywho) I love me some great ice cold adult beverages.  I dont have any given time of day when I enjoy it the most but I do try my very best to enjoy my adult time after 10AM (I have teenagers, please no judging).  As most of my friends know, I am at my smartest (is that even a word? I need a drink!) during these adult times.  Well, the other day (while camping) as I enjoyed my ice cold Corona a gentleman came up and explained that during the hot season scorpions make their appearance.  I said WTF!  Scorpions??!?!?  Yeah its time to go!  But then I wondered, maybe they come out because they to must want to enjoy an ice cold thirst quenching beverage.  I began my google search (via Droid – thank you Verizon) and typed (text) in “Scorpions and alcohol”.  And this interesting fact came up:

If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

So I gotta ask, is it sick that I actually got up and went looking for our tequila?

Have a GREAT weekend!

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Appreciation for you my friend

As a woman you experience periods in your life when you feel loved, wanted, needed and appreciated.  Well today is NOT that day for me.  In fact it hasn’t been my whole dang week. 

 

My boss said something to me yesterday that got me completely exhausted.  He said “With my wife being home from surgery and I’m left with the kids, household stuff, cooking cleaning, driving, sports and work I’m drained.  Josie, how do you do it?  You do this every day.  You get the kids going you come to work then your off to your home to cook, drive, sports, wash, clean.  When the hell do you have time to shit?”  I stared at him and I immediately wanted to cry and oddly enough I actually had to think about when the last time I actually shit – no need to panic with all the thinking about when I actually did made me have to do it. 

 

I honestly feel Mother’s Day or any day that a parent is recognized (Birthday, Anniversary’s or even Happy Hour) should be an every day event.  Sometimes we lose sight of appreciation for the people that wake up to care for us every day. 

 

I had an amazing mom.  Her every breath was for her children and grandchildren.  I unfortunately lost her almost one year ago June 25th and I have to tell you, if I could have just 5 seconds to give her a HUGE hug I would trade one of my children HAHA okay maybe not one of my children but you know what I mean. 

 

Take a moment and appreciate someone today.  For me I will say thank you to the bank teller that will cash my check and hand me my cash.  For if it wasn’t for that person’s pressing of key on that handy little computer I would have to wait in line for the ATM. 

 

Happy Hump Day!

Obsessions

Oh it must be hump day cause I’m feeling groovy

Over these past three and a half weeks I have been hard at work trying to improve my body both inside and out.  I’ve had to make some small sacrifices but in the end it will be all worth it.  Through my interesting (short) journey I have developed some new obsessions.  Dont Judge

#1 – WATER and not just any water I have been obsessing over Desani.  Up to 2 Liters a day and I swear if I pee one more – DAMN be right back!

#2 – Kettlebells – after using these babies I cant imagine working out with out them

#3 – Panty Liners – Have you ever complete a hard weight workout and then hit the treadmill for 15 minutes on an incline routine?  If you have then you know your butt and “area’s” sweat.  If yours dont then well EFF off cause mine do!  And I prefer NOT to go into the grocery store with a wet croch, thank you very much.

#4 – Romaine Lettuce – These are THEE best thing EVER!  If you have some tuna and some sandwich spread – mix those bitches up and spread it in this fine piece of lettuce with a sliver of Zesty dill pickle and you got yourself a MEE-YUUMIE lunch.  Dont get me started on the plethora of wraps you can make with these bad boys!!

#5 – Barefoot Wine – Since I have been a non-beer drinker this handy dandy wine selection has been such a great thirst quencher.

#6 – Naked Juice SMOOTHIES – honestly the only reason I love them is because I like saying “I just had me a naa-ked” bar-chicka-wow-wow HA!

#6 – Ice Cubes – no not the rapper the actual ICE – water is boring boring boring with added texture its somewhat tolerable.  PLUS ice cubes in your wine help dilute it a bit :sigh: have I said Spring/Summer suck???  No?!?!  Damn shorts damn swimsuits damn them all!

#7 – Liquid Gel Advil – I just need to say one word – SORE.  These are a must have!

#8 – My iPod and earbuds – What would I do without my dearest iPod?  If I had to listen to my breathing and complaining while I workout I would seriously throw my workout DVD’s through a window.  :note to self send apology note to downstairs neighbors: who knew a DVD can do so much damage?? 

My last obsession is a little tricky to post – so I’ll just say it vibrates :wink wink: HA!

Have a great DAY!  WOO HOO manana es Cinco De Mayo – Orale HAHAHAHA

Oh Yea – He’s Scarred FOR LIFE

Everyone has a memory or has a story of a friend’s memory from childhood of walking in on parents having sex, right?  Oh yea . . . . I’ve touched that inner fear, that locked away image you keep extra tight way deep in your  secret memory vault you so want to forget.  A HA!  Well we have given that same gift to our youngest.  And boy was it a doosie.

Like normal couples with children, we all have a designated time when we can do the dirty.  Some prefer the closet, some prefer the bathroom.  All in all, if you have children you have to coordinate the sexual escapades just right to prevent the scream of horror and utter embarrassment of your children catching you in the act.  For years my husband and I have been the braggers amongst our friends with children who havent been caught.  They all have said “just wait, you guys will have your day” and we never thought it would happen to us.  We have both experienced the nightmare of catching a friend’s parents going at it and we would pay top dollar to get that image removed from our memory. 

Oh yea we were amongst the few, the elite set of parents who could brag well that is until last Wednesday night.  (insert dum DUM DUUUUMMMM sound here). 

It started off as any other spring vacation day.  My husband and I took the day off work to take our youngest to a Padre game.  We had amazing seats.  Our youngest was absolutely thrilled.  And because we’re high rollers (NOT) we sat in the all-you-can-eat section.  The day was perfect, great view, great food and great drinks!  We ran into one of my son’s friends there, they didnt have the wrist ban for the food so we made a deal.  We’ll give you all the hotdogs/drinks/popcorn/peanuts you want in exchange for beer (oh come one now thats a deal!).  Remember its ALL YOU CAN EAT.  The kids had a blast.  They caught some balls and we enjoyed our beers. 

All in all it was a good day.  My son beamed from ear to ear telling his older brother and sister about his day at the ballpark. 

That evening, like normal, we all get the ready for bed.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  And like normal 2:00AM rolls around and I feel a *tap tap tap* on my shoulder and its mommy and daddy time (OH YEAH).  I’m not sure when it happened but IT DID and we heard “OH MY GOD DAD GET OFF MY MOMMY!!” then SLAM of the bathroom door.  Of course my husband was as suave as a deer caught in the headlights scrambling to get himself together, where as I just laid there and thought “maybe if I stay real still no one will see me” – uh no – that didnt work. 

I immediately asked my husband if we should go talk to him and of course he said “no babe it’s all good he’ll be fine he’ll forget all about it” . . another wrong move.  First thing the next morning my son runs out to the dining room and begins to laugh. 

Siah (while he’s humping the air shouts) – “You guys are gross – Dad you were all crazy on top of mom!  I cant believe you were making a baby last night!  Mom said you weren’t going to have anymore you guys lied!” 

Dad – “we weren’t making a baby.” 

Siah – “eww then you were putting it in my mom on purpose????”

Dad – “Pop, we do that all the time”

Siah – “Well not anymore, I’m gunna start sleeping with you guys.  Your gunna break my mom dad!”

At that we left things alone (mostly because we couldnt stop laughing and I know I was RED from embarrassment).  I decided to talk to him about it later when my husband wasnt around.  But I know my son will NEVER forget what he saw.  He must have told his brother and sister a 100 times and some of his cousins about his ordeal.  OH the joy of Marriage and Children.

I made it through

Well what an interesting baseball game.  My son did a great job!  I was very impressed and I was also impressed with all the mixed emotions of lil ol me there amongst all my true best friends – NOT. 

Between the stares and the wispers, I actually enjoyed most of the game.  I did however, sit on the bleachers and that is something I never do.  I usually sit at the furthest end of the field, depending on which side my son is on.  Unfortunatley, I forgot my handy dandy chair so I played nice on the bleachers. 

One thing you must know about me, when I get nervous or uncomfortable I tend to chit chat about NONSENSE.  I dont talk smack I just talk about the most random things.  Another bad habit I need to kick.  I should have drank at least a six pack before I went. 

With that said I have gained so much “beer” weight its CRAZY!  Does anyone know of a pilates class thats cheap????  Or a great video of pilates?  I tried the 90x thing and because I live upstairs the downstairs neighbors have a bit of a problem with me working out.  I just dont understand, I drink most of my meals and I’m still gettin a booty hahahaha well theres nothing wrong with that except for all the damn dimples!!!  How am I gunna wear my monokini with cheese hanging out my bottom???  You see, random NONSENSE!!!  Gotta love a talker  – Silver Lining 😉

Damn did I say that?

Well it has come to my attention that I apparently talk too much shit while I drink.  In some ways I can agree with that.  Maybe I’m a little angry bitch or maybe I am not the type of person who thinks its okay to smile to your face and talk behind your back.  One way or the other your going to find out what I said so I might as well just tell it to your face.  My husband explained that I could be nicer about it.  I can see his point.  I mean, my mom did raise me to believe “if you have nothing good to say just dont say it at all”. 

I am no longer close to my husbands family because I have told them all where to go.  I no longer have a few close friends of mine because I’ve also told them where to go (they werent very good friends).  After my mother died I kinda lost it a little (just a tad) and didnt care what came out of my mouth.  But now I’m honestly annoyed with myself.  Its like a bad habit you cant get rid of.  I hear myself telling my brain “dont say it, just shut up and dont say it” but somewhere between my brain and down to my mouth it gets lost in translation and plop out it goes like word vomit.  Why cant I stop myself??? 

Today is the first game of my lil one’s baseball season.  And boy is my mouth going to be put to the test.  I cant stand most of the people there.  CAN. NOT. STAND.  But my son wants to play. 

So like the song goes I’m gunna “put on a happy face” – Bleh

Pilates the Great

Is it already almost February?  Did I fall asleep somewhere and miss about two weeks??!?!  Well CRAP! 

With that being said and all the blogs about “getting healthy” and “eating right” to the fitness guru’s shouting “GET READY FOR SUMMER – get your summer bod in 6 weeks!”  bleh bleh bleh … I find myself running out of time to get an actual routine going that will make me want to workout.  You see for me (as you have read before) I get a green grass up my butt and decide to go crazy and work my flabs out.  I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.  I HATE running and although I have a pooch in my lower abdomen I refuse to give up my booze.  Now, back to the healthy crap. 

I have been drinking more water and have been making healthier choices on my lunch menu.  I have even started Pilates.  Now now dont go all crazy, its not like I take a class or go to the gym.  I watch the girl on my blackberry with ear buds on and do it at home :).  At first when all I did was watch the bi**h do it I thought “that sh*t is easy!  And each video is only 10 min NO problem I got this” The first day I went home and brought out the yoga mat I was psyched up.  Ready to go, even brought out a 15lb dumb bell so I could do my squats and lunges after.  Pfffft this was gunna be a breaze!  OH HELL it soooo wasnt!  Has anyone done Pilates?  Anyone???  HOLY crap and the magnificent (I cant call her the “b” word anymore – too much respect) woman taking you through it was talking at the same time!  I couldnt stop shaking!  I couldnt even complete all the routines!

I did the best I could and SCREW the squats and lunges at this point.  But all in all I felt great after.  My core felt like I put in some work and I only had two glasses of wine instead of the full bottle (well mainly because I was still shaking and that didnt feel nice).  The next morning I cursed every stair I had to climb.  I didnt give a rats ass if I looked crazy or like I had a stick up my butt I was SORE!

The second night of Pilates were intense!  I made noises I never knew I could make.  Yea I may have cursed a few times and actually almost completed a few routines without resting or wanting to puke.  And after I did a full 5 minutes of squats and lunges (hey its a start). 

So far its been 5 full days of at home pilates/squats/lunges each day lasting about 20 minutes.  I am honestly preparing myself for that P90X thing.  My friend not only uses it but sells it.  I am in no hurry to have a bikini body.  I figure 2 to 3 months should give me enough time . . . right?  Ugh I hate being a girl!

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