Archive for the ‘ Work Day ’ Category

Dear Maker of The Panty Liner

First off let me say, you have created a wonderful little life saver.  Not only is it small and neat but it does wonders for self confidence when your not too sure if a tampon and/or pad will be needed or all of thee above.  But, yes there is a but, who the hell is in charge of the packaging?  Whats with all the bright colors or the sudden pink wrapping?  Come on people can we be a little more discreet?

seriously?

I have seen a wide range of different types of wrappings.  And all I can think is REALLY????  Are we shouting out “HELLO I MAY DRIP DOWN THERE SO I NEED PROTECTION!”.

I work in an office where we have two bathrooms that we all share.  One is a designated #1 only and the other is strictly #2 and let me tell ya when we all see each other heading towards the direction to the #2 bathroom its kinda awkward.  I am the only female in the office.  Yup, so you can imagine when I go in the #2 bathroom after a man – lets just say its not pleasant.

— as a P.S. we’re having an office meeting and I am taking over a bathroom and calling it my own — just a tid bit of information for ya.

Okay so back to my point, seeing as I am the only female in the office, there are times when a panty liner needs to come in play.  Well its embarrassing that there’s a bright pink, purple, blue and even green wrapping in the trash bin.  I mean do I wrap the wrapping with toilet paper?  And if I do wrap it with toilet paper, aren’t I just wasting valuable material and contributing more to the waste dump??

So I ask you Playtex, Kotex, Always, Go Girl, Glad Rags (yes there is a brand called Glad Rags) why cant you wrap the panty liners with a not so bright wrapping?  Maybe a white or ivory?  Perhaps you should look into teaming up with the toilet paper company and getting a few ideas from them.  I dont know but please look into it.

 

Sincerely

A Panty Liner User

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6 Minute Rule

In honor of Cinco De Mayo (insert aye aye aye!-here) I now present the 6 min rule (6?     5?   you say tomato I say apple)

This morning as I drove my boys to school we had one our in depth conversations.  You know the ones where we all sit and deal with life and all its complexities (geez is that even a word??). 

“Mom, its 7:28 your going to be late”

“Nah, I have till 7:36 then I’m officially late.”

“Oh thats like us, the bell rings and we have 5 or 6 minutes to get to class and in our seat.”

Hmmmmm and my mind began to ponder.  We are all preordained into a 6 minute cushion.  I thought back to my school days and yes, yes I remember we got an extra 5 to 6 minutes to get to our seat once the bell rang.  Or even to our line, remember elementary school we all had to line up on the black top once the bell rang?  Everyone knew we had 6 minutes to make it to the line before walking in. 

It doesnt just stop there, we then as adults get into other cushions.  We all know about the 10 day “grace period” for certain bills.  Or how about the 3 second rule?  Or even the 20 min wait to go swimming after eating, I mean is that even true?  I’m afraid to do otherwise and prove the theory right HA!  Can you imagine the news headline will say “Dumb Ass Woman drowns for not following the 20 min rule BEFORE swimming after eating”.  Maybe the 20 min rule isnt quite the same thing but you know what I mean. 

Cushions, who knew?

Wrappings Off – Now what?

Day 2 of “yoga” watch – HAHA that’s what my husband calls it.  The DVD is now unwrapped and lying next to the DVD player.  Why doesnt it just put itself inside the machine???  It stares at me every night before I go to bed and it waits for me to wake up just to rub it in my face.  Damn yoga DVD – Damn you Jillian! 

On another note, a person (which will remain nameless) has just pushed herself  back into my life recently.  We have known each other for quit some time and our relationship is extremely bi-polar.  One moment we get along great and the next we are true to the grit enemies.  I mean, I’m not in highschool anymore and there are relationships that need to stay gone.  You know that person, the one you love to hate but hate to love but end up friendly because hey its them?  No??  Well damn, I guess I’m the only one that has issues.  Just so it’s said I’m warning myself  “Jo-your gunna get kicked in the ass again so you better watch out – remember the last few times – your damned if you do and your damned if you dont”.  :sigh:

Today was Bring Your Loved One to Lunch Day at my son’s school.  The kid cant take a serious picture to save his life!  But I gotta admit, he’s AMAZING that way 🙂 I love having lunch with him and his lil friends.  He tells me all about who is who and what kind of day he’s having.  I can sit there and watch him for hours.

OH CRAP – I soo have a funny story for you: So on Sunday my husband and I decided to go have breakfast, just him and I at our local iHop.  Where we were sitting there was a couple sitting behind my husband (we had to be romantic and face each other) with two small girls.  One must have been about 9 maybe 10 months old.  She was screaming crying touching everything on the table.  Her mom must have picked her up and set her down 3 or 4 times.  After while we must have gotten used to the noise.  But the next thing I knew I glanced past his shoulder and saw this:

No No do NOT adjust your computer or tilt your head..this my friends is a picture of the little girl FAST asleep on her highchair-thinga-ma-bob.  Do not be alarmed I have EXCELLENT undercover camera skills so I was not arrested.  Now look at this poor little girl, all the while her parents enjoyed their breakfast they LEFT their child like this for the ENTIRE time they ate.  No on touched her or even offered to fix her little neck.  Here’s another photo – I like this one cause you can see her little poof of her hair:

I know its wrong that my husband and I laughed for HOURS at this picture.  I mean who does this? 

Have a HAPPY HUMP DAY – ugh its already past 2 – time to do some squats *insert fart noise here*

Do Over Please

Dont you just hate  those mornings that when the moment you wake up its like a bomb goes off?  Normally, I have pretty quick mornings – get the kids up and dressed and out the door.  Normally, the mornings run smooth and easy – yeah there are some arguments here and there and bit of dirty looks from one sibling to the other but normally my mornings are pretty snazzy.

Well this morning was not at all snazzy or even one bit a part of the word normal.  :closing my eyes taking a deep breath and gulping a big swig of my coffee:

BEEP BEEP BEEP went the alarm at approximately 6:15am.  My husband has already left to the gym (at 430am).  Okay time to start the day – Get up grab the dog and take him for the morning walk.  “Come on Sabyn lets go” maybe he wasnt ready to make his morning début so he laid there staring at me.  “Come on Sabyn its cold outside so we need to make this quick” he just stares.  :SIGH: “Okay big boy lets go” I bend down pick him up (he’s 55lbs at 6 months) and help him along to the stairs.  I have to practically drag him to the grass.  He walked around sniffed and squatted.  “Great, now come on lets goo inside” Nope he wasnt having it.  First the dog didnt want to go outside now the dog didnt want to go inside . . geeeez. 

After hauling him up the stairs take him in, feed him and give him his morning medicine (which means I shove my hand down his throat while he gags and pushes me away – have I mentioned how much fun I’m having at this point?) I proceed to wake up the rest of the clan.  My 15 yr old daughter has already left for school (she’s the smart one to leave early enough before the boys open their eyes).  I go into my 9 yrs old’s room and turn the light on “Okay pop time to get up its Monday – Your clothes are on the bed” …. he mumbles, farts and turns over.  “Come on son we have 20 minutes” … mumbles, farts and covers his head with the pillow.  Grrrreeeeaaattt :BIG SIGH:

I leave the room to head to my 13yr old’s room — knock knock “hey poppa its 6:45” – grumble “k mom” . . . I head back to my 9 yr old’s room and he’s still covered in the bed.  I grab the blankets “Come on baby lets go!” and from that point until we left at 730 is pretty much a blur.

I know there was some crying in there along with yelling (and that was just from me) theres no telling what the boys were fighting about or yelling about.  I know the door slammed a few times and maybe the milk was spilled somewhere (i’ll have to go home for lunch and really take a look at the damage). 

Theres one thing I dislike (well maybe there are a few things but) the most is yelling at my kids first thing in the morning.  It makes me physically ill. 

I finally make it in to work and low and behold the hubby calls to check on how everything went this morning.  Thats when I cracked I bawled all the events out in one sobbing breath.  He said he was sorry the morning went bad and that he’ll have a talk with the kids later (hat usually NEVER happens).  I tried to explain it wasnt the fact that the morning was hard it was the fact that I yelled.  He didnt get it . . Can I just have a do over?  Please?

Step 4 & 5 – Use Your Strengths & Recognize Your Weaknesses

I thought step 4 and 5 should go together.  In order to do one you must know the other, right?  For example beer/wine is a weakness of mine so I must have the strength to know when to put the bottle down (I one day hope this will be a successful task until then . . ) But as I read further (Lifescript such a powerful message) thats not exactly what these steps mean.

I, of course, have no clue what my strengths or weaknesses are – so it says to ask someone close to you.  I began to think of all 4 friends of mine (dont be jealous) and thought carefully on who would be the best judgement for me (aka say the best things about me “weaknesses?  you?  never!”).  After long consideration (4 beers) I thought my husband would be the best bet.  After all, he has known me for 12 years and would be very careful with his words (I make him dinner and give him “goodies” on a regular).

“Babe, what would you say are my strengths?” I know he didnt mind me sparking up conversation while he was into his favorite movie – when a wife speaks time stops (I know right!)

“What do you mean?  Your a great mother and wife.”

“Thanks babe now what are my weaknesses?”

“This babe, this is your weakness” well crap. 

So of course I did what any wife would do at this point – probe deeper and find out exactly what this means.  There has to be a hidden meaning behind what he said.  How am I going to be a better person if my own husband thinks Im a crazy person??  All I did was ask him a few questions and this he said this is my weakness!?!  As I was about to open my mouth, let the tears pour out and spill my soul – he pauses the movie, gets up, heads to the kitchen, brings me a new cold beverage and gives me a kiss.  There was no need to say anything else.

Strengths & Weaknesses – everyone has them.  I have personally experienced my own – Have the strength to know when to shut the eff up, not everything is meant to hurt me some things are meant to remind me.  Well so far thats what I’ve learned.

Its contagious

7:00 AM – a ** Smile – oh yea its contagious.  The air smells so fresh this morning – everyone seems to be welcoming Monday, welcoming fall (or the all the sugar in my coffee has officially impacted my brain/vision) either way – it feels good. 

It has taken me all weekend to figure out what my goal for October would be.  This month I will be celebrating my 9 year wedding anniversary (well – day at the court house) and my late mom’s birthday (its the same exact day).  Each day it has been getting easier.  Honestly, following through on my goals and staying focused has really helped and I am rediscovering myself.  Lets recap shall we (Im telling you I have had LOTS of sugar – ehh ummm I mean coffee this morning)

August – Getting to know me again – Not worrying about what and who hurt me – and getting rid of the toxic people in my life.  Basically I broke up with myself and my past and decided to start a new relaitonship with myself – it may sound crazy but dont knock it until you try it.  So far Im liking myself a lot more and treating myself better.

September – Forgetting – this one has been TOUGH.  Women just dont forget.  Oh no no no.  We may act like we have but, like that song says “Its a thin Line between Love and Hate” you’ll wake up floating (sinking) in the Hudson ;).  Overall, its been a great goal to follow and it has helped me to continue to focus. 

October – **Smiling no matter what – and find the silver lining** – a smile goes a long way.  Even when you dont want to and everyone can eat shit and die – tell them with a smile .. come on all together now “you can eat shit and die” keep smiling.  Now didnt that feel good?  It doesnt matter how the person you have said that to feels what matters its how you felt after you said it.  Wheres the Silver Lining you ask – well notice you had the opportunity to say what you needed calmly and polite and the person was able to truely listen to what you had to say.  Nice isnt it?

On my walk to work this morning I had an opportunity to smile and find a silver lining (already able to begin my October goal – amazing)  I happen to get pooped on by a pigeon SMACK on my right boob.  Normally I would curse and pick up a rock and try to knock that son of a bitch right off the light post but instead I smiled and thought of the silver linning.  How is that something to smile about – you ask?  Well lets see – one: the pigeon’s digestive system is good to go now the pigeon can swoop down and continue to eat trash off the street thus cleaning up what someone had graciously left behind and two: I have the wonderful opportunity of using our facilities at work thus being thankful for running water and soap (not to mention I will smell of lavendar and vanilla thanks to Dove).  Its a win win for all involved. 

So today, and for the rest of the month lets all practice the smile and look for the silver linning.  You’ll see that even while your stabbing the chicken your cooking for dinner repeatidly with a knife while thinking its that someone in particular – smile and remember now your chicken will be nice and tender and juiced up with all the wonderful herbs and spices and bring smiles to those who will enjoy it.

HAPPY MONDAY 🙂

Mom=Superwoman????

6:30 AM – Well we’re back at Wednesday – Hump Day – this week is flying by fast.  In fact September itself, is flying by fast. 

Today my husband begins his first two weeks of 12 to 16 hour shifts which means (yup you guessed it) me ALONE with the kids.  Did I mention alone with two teenagers?  Our regular routine for the weekdays are down packed.  My husband takes the kids to their destinations (there are three kids – three different schools – three different routes) while I straighten up the house get ready for work and start my morning walk commute.  4 o’clock would sound the bell and as I walked home my husband picked up two of the three kids and made their way home.  My son has football practice Tues-Thurs and while my husband took him I would do laundry, cook and get dinner all prepared along with lunches for the next day.  Yada Yada Yada – you get the picture.  He is the driver I am the everything elser.

Today, oddly enough, I have the truck.  Yup me.  I havent driven in ummmmm lets see.  Maybe about – oh I dont know – 3 months or so.  And those Dodge Hemi’s have power!  My husband left this morning around 6:45am which left me with the 9, 13 and 14 year olds looking at me like “okay what do we do now?”.  And this is when I began to pray (or cry or panick – all the above).  I watched my husband disappear around the corner and I felt a tug on my heart (sanity) – then I felt it again … That tug was my 9 year old on my pj’s.  I turned around with fear and he said “Well lets get a move on mom we havent got all day”.  And there they were all staring at me – dressed waiting for words to exit my mouth.  My 13 yr old – “Mom!  Come on get dressed its 6:50 we usually leave by now.”  GREAT here we go.

As I ran around the condo getting myself together I can hear my kids “you see this is what moms do.  Their always late”.  OH hell no I was not going to start these next few weeks with those looks and smirks from my kids.  HELL to the NO.  So I got dressed and we were out the door by 7:00 HA!  I drove (I HATE DRIVING – other drivers are ASSHOLES – please read disclaimer) the kids to their destinations and my final stop was for my 13 yr old.  He turned to me before walking away “Not bad mom, not bad.  Love you”.  Oh yeah baby I can do this.

I began to drive away and noticed what a mother dresses in (for work) in 10 minutes and what exactly her hair looks like.  OH MY BAAAAGEEZUS!  Well the good part is I got the kids where they needed to be.  Lord help me later!!! 

Today’s schedule:

Work 730-4

Pick up kids check on pot roast (been cooking for 8 hours slow cooker style) get my youngest ready for Football Picture Day – 4-530

Take son to Football picture sit for an hour (because no one knows what the hell their doing) watch and shed a couple tears as my son poses – get him in the car head back home – OOPS forgot my 14 year old (was talking across the field with her “friends” – yeah I have forgotten her before- dont judge me) head back to the field get her – yell at her for leaving me in the first place – head home 6-7

Grab a quick couple loads of laundry – take them downstairs load washer – head back up stairs set timer for 30 minutes (otherwise other people will take the clothes out for me – you dont want that) serve the kids try to inhale a couple of bites.  Head back to the laundry room take clothes out and load dryer – up the stairs again set timer 45 minutes.  Get the kids in the shower and iron the clothes for the next day. 7-845

Get the clothes from the laundry room head back up stairs (by this time I have climbed the stairs 7 times – give or take) clean up the kitchen.  Take a shower – tuck the kids in and try to relax.  Mom=Superwoman?  We’ll see 

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