Archive for the ‘ Sexuality ’ Category

Friday Friday

Before I go into my most intellectual antics I would like to say – CONGRATULATIONS to my son’s Senior League All Star Team!  They are currently battling it out for a spot in the Little League WORLD SERIES in Maine.  Yes folks I am a very proud momma (sorry I still get a lil teary eyed) …. GO LEMON GROVE!!!  They are currently REPRESENTING all of Southern California in the tournaments.

If you would like to follow how they are doing you can visit our website at http://www.go-lgll.com.  Send all your good goo-goo’s!!

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Now onto to the Friday stoooof ..

I have a few of my favorite things in this little world of mine and I came across this little fun fact.

 

A female oyster produces 100 million young in her lifetime, the typical hen lays 19 dozen eggs a year, and it is possible for one female cat to be responsible for the birth of 20,736 kittens in four years.

First my mind wondered (well duh) then I laughed and out of no where, I got a little hungry (for those of you who understand my humor or just me – OH YEAH BABY HAHA).  And for those who don’t quit do – 3 words to help educate you about lil ol me …. Oyster Hen and most important Kitty.

Grrrrrrrrrr

 

Have a wonderful Weekend!

One taste was all it took

There was nothing I wanted more.  The feeling of it on my lips and in my mouth.  I longed for the subtle taste and flavors that would  gently glide down my throat.  The smell of it brought me to places and thoughts that had been locked away.  The sides of my jaw began to tingle with excitement.  I managed to dress for the occasion.  A nice relaxing outfit groomed for the right fit.  My hair let down and my stress of the day slowly melting away. 

Who wouldn’t want a feeling like this?  Wasnt this the reason we all worked so hard for, a moment of satisfaction?  I closed my eyes and brought it to my mouth.  Delicious.  It was exactly how I remembered it.  It’s like it was made to fit in my hands and prepared for only my mouth.  It had a connection with me and it knew I needed it just as much, in its own way, as it needed me.

Of course one taste wouldnt be enough.  There’s no satisfaction in just having one try.  I took it into my mouth once again and took another big swallow.  Mmmmm, it had me the first time I had ever experienced it.

I do LOVE my ice cold beer.  HEY where was your mind at?

Craigslist, the new dating site?

I decided to walk to work this morning.  It’s been over a month or two since I’ve done this and figured what the heck – let’s do it.  I had forgotten what a great walk it was.  To have 15 minutes of just not thinking about anything except for watching out for that damn curb that seems to trip me up, it always get me.  Well who am I kidding being a woman, mom and wife there is NO such thing as not thinking about anything.  A woman’s mind is constantly going, period.  

My thoughts pondered on a number of things, and if you really knew knew me you would know some of these thoughts are out there – sometimes.  Last night I read about the movie craigslist killer (I think that’s the name of it) and I began to wonder if that were true.  Are there personals on craigslist?  I thought people only went on there for jobs, houses or pets.  So of course I ventured on the website, you know for research purposes.  And low and behold I was wrong.  There are a ton of personal ads.  My curiosity was peeked.  I couldn’t help but read some of these entries.  Did you know there are couples out there looking for a third player in their bedroom!?  Did you know there are people that advertise their “services” and do not mind it would only be an hour of pleasure.  CRAZY!  There are women on there that have husbands away in the Navy who want “quality” time but just sex.  

I am not internet savvy or understand all of these little abbreviations out there, but because I researched these personals I learned quit a few.  For example NSA – means “no strings attached”, BBW – Big Black Woman (there are other meanings behind BBW – that was just one of the meanings) ONS – one night stand, the list gets more and more interesting. There are others w4w t4m m4w (so many 4 scenarios I lost count). 

 As I read some of these I wondered who answers these ads?  Who places them?  Are they all killers?  Is this a common thing?  I wanted to get to know more about online hook-ups and googled “on line hookups” and hundreds of sites popped up.  Some of them were porn videos, hey Im not here to judge.  There are sooo many advertisements about Match.com or Plentyoffish.com (to name just two).  Is it really that hard to meet someone these days?    

My research ended just as quickly as it started and man did I need a drink after.  I tried to explain to my husband about my new found education.  I went into great detail about the websites and personals I had encountered (we seriously have no secrets – well almost none).  He seemed like he was interested a.k.a. listening but as it turned out all he heard was “naked” “porn” ect.

 “Babe you really watched porn on the internet?”

 “No babe!  I said …” just as I was about to go further he lost interest a.k.a. went back to his music on his laptop.

 “Oh I thought you said you were watching porn.  Can you grab me a beer while your up?  You should hear this mix I just made” 

“Did you hear anything I said?” 

 “Yea yea yea babe I was listening and don’t you worry we’ll head to the video store later to buy a couple, I don’t want you watching that on your laptop – you’ll catch a virus”.  Ugh men!

BC versus AD – where does 2011 fit in?

Hey guys – long time no blog.  Har Har Har

I have a question for ya.  Im watching Wednesday night TV (aka Reba because I only get the tube between 8 and 9) and many of the commercials are about being “germ free” or “use clorox it gets rid of 99% of germs”.  And you know it got me thinking.  Back in the day (bible days) they didnt have clorox or germ killer or even hand sanitizer – and get this – they lived to be like 400 years old!  They didnt have refrigerators to keep their chicken fresh or humid temp sensitive drawers to keep our vegetables crisp.  If you think about it – they didnt even have running water.

Back then they had bacteria eating their skin . . hello scarlet fever!  Now we have cancer, heart disease, AIDS, STD’s, plastic being injected into our bodies to look younger!  WTF is going on with us!?!  How can we tell our children its ok to be who you are when everything around us is screaming CHANGE YOURSELF!  Its a scarey world we’re living in and its only gunna get worse if we dont change. 

With all these birds dying and the whole “end of the world” coming scenarios – it makes me wonder . . . . “what the hell are we doing???”  We have to be doing something wrong right?  We have all of this new “technology” all of this new “ways to live longer” but in truth it seems like we’re killing ourselves quicker. 

In the olden (urrg sorry spelling) days couples (gay or straight) stayed with each other “for good or worse” but now the media teaches our children that marriage doesnt matter.  And if you want to get married – hey write E or TLC so that maybe you can get a reality show.  And HELLO if your 16 get pregnant!  MTV will hit you up! 

What it comes down to is this – we are a truely fucked up generation. 

Damn now I need a drink

Muffins ALL around

Its official and I’m proud to admit it, I have a muffin top. This new personal attribute (did I use that right?) I have to thank my 18 new little friends that come by and bring me smiles and laughter and yes the carne asada fries. YUM – anywho yes I have a muffin top.

 At first it began as a little muffin – the pre muffin bump and I wasn’t too afraid of it. It would pop out every so often (Wednesday thru Sunday) but now it has blossomed to a whole flavor. I mean now it has frosting AND sprinkles.

Normally I wouldn’t care how this whole thing works out but now it’s starting to affect my bedroom life (yes now kiddies its time to read yet another blog). I mean seriously how sexy am I with my muffin top over my under-do’s?

What makes things worse is that my bedroom assistant (yes I do have one and no its not all about the vibrating tools-although I am OPEN to new inventions) has been “working out” and I say it with my fingers making the actual quote motion. So yea I feel a little out of shape.

Normally, being a female under the age of 35, I would buy the best gym membership call the best (aka cheapest but certified, well maybe) plastic surgeon and make my New Years resolution to be the sexiest woman mom (GAG) blab la bla. Now that’s “normally”. And well since you all have read my blogs you all know I am thee furthest from being normal. And so now I have a bit of a dilemma. I hate loathe spit upon cant stand HATE (wait did I already say loathe?) exercising. Period. PERIOD. So yea I hate exercising – in case you haven’t guessed it. BUT and I say it as my HUGE butt – LOVE sex. I love it. But lately I have been feeling a little “not in the mood”. Only cause when our stomaches clash they make that damn fart sound. And HELLO that is HELLA funny! I mean can you imagine getting all into it and :enter fart noise here: its like instant giggles! Well after that how do you get back into it without trying to avoid the fart sound (for those of you who don’t have that problem FUCK off).

So I need some advice. HELP – oh BTW I am NOT giving up my boos so that’s NOT an option! HAHA Have a HAPPY Friday

Purple

Good Morning and Happy Hump Day.  It is Wednesday right?  Today’s topic is brought to you by the letter P – P for purple.

According to my 14 yr old daughter – a freshman in highschool – Today is Bisexual/Gay Purple Day.  The students who support their bisexual/gay peers will be wearing purple.  And yes my daughter is wearing her purple “crush” t-shirt.  Honestly, when my daughter told me about today’s wardrobe preference I was caught a little off guard.  The first thoughts that came into my head were “did she just say bisexual?  does she even know what that means?  why purple?”  You know all the typical thoughts ” (well my thoughts).  “Oh purple huh?  Bisexual/Gay Purple – is that like a lavendar or your basic purple?” yep thats the first thing that came out of my mouth.  First off my daughter and I can discuss pretty much anything (I know that may end some day soon so I’ll take all that I can get at this point) second, she is thee only female (besides myself) in our home of three males – no scratch that now its four males (Lil Sabyn).  and third, she is a product of her mother.

She explained that she supports her gay, bisexual and heterosexual friends.  I stood there listening to her as she went on with all her random thoughts about it all and I couldnt help but smile.  In our home our children are welcome to discuss whatever that is on their mind.  No prejudice from us as parents (thats in our home – that does not mean I do not agree with what other parents do in their home) I know too many families broken and too many depressed teenagers that feel they have no one to talk to I refuse to have my children feel that way. 

We educated our children at a very young age about sexuality.  When my husband I met and we decided that we would be together forever I have always made it very clear I would not hide my father, aunts or even my sexuality and upbringing.  And we both agreed we would be open about things if and when our children asked questions.  I couldnt imagine telling my father or aunt they had to hide their love for the people who have been apart of my life for over 20 years.  How do you tell a child its wrong to love someone? 

My husband came into the room in the middle of the conversation.  So I happily explained today was Bisexual Purple Day at our daughters school – to which he replied “oh very nice” and then our rambunctious 9 year appeared and asked “Whats Bisexual?” and my husband replied “its when someone is attracted to males and females” and my  son replied “at the same time? then who makes dinner?” – I have no clue what exactly that means but his attention span didnt last long and moved onto his next question “how come worms dont have tongues?”

Awesome