Archive for the ‘ Satisfaction ’ Category

Flippity Flap Fact Friday

Gooood Morning and Happy Friday ūüôā

I am all hyped up on my coffee so excuse my stuttering fingers. ¬†As always, before I educate your spongy minds ( I mean that in the best way possible – if thats possible) tomorrow we will be celebrating my father n laws 70th birthday. ¬†Many of you know I lost my mom a couple years ago and in these last couple of years satan has tried to throw his worst species my way (seriously this post isnt about you – move on) but God has blessed me 10 times over with the most amazing family a woman could ever dream of. ¬†As all you ladies know – when you marry, you marry them ALL ūüôā

“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.” ~ Joyce Brothers

*** and now drum roll please (tried to spell it but your imagination will have to do) ***

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes

Well Flippity FLAP!   Have a wonderful weekend


Facebook – I see you

Well good morning good morning

Now that I have my cup of Joe and more importantly you can see my pretty nails (I’m so proud of my new girly art skills) , lets get into the lovely topic of Facebook.

My husband and I decided that leaving facebook was the best for us. ¬†We felt that privacy was a HUGE factor and also we really didnt see it as a positive tool in our lives. ¬†Since then our teenagers have made it a habitual daily thing to log every piece of their lives online for all to see. ¬†Although we dont have a facebook we do have our ways of monitoring whats being posted by our teens. ¬†One of those ways is their other parents. ¬†My daughter’s dad monitors her facebook religously and we thought my step sons mom would monitor his posts as well.

For the past couple of weeks my step son has been very verbal about things that go on in our home. ¬†Of course I’m a step parent so of course I was the target. ¬†Its all good though, being a parent and not a friend to your child can do that especially if your the “step” parent. ¬†I wont go into it in detail but I will say this – shame on you and thank you. ¬†Catching his handy work and the non mention of certain people’s actions actually provided a great communication exercise that benefited our lil family. ¬†It also proves exactly what type of person(s) are out there. ¬†Lets grow up, shall we.

Okay time for the catch up wrap up . . . . . Since September I have celebrated 10 years of marriage (bowing and thanking all of my 4 supporters/fans), had a full hysterectomy and got really good at smiling even though I feel like smashing everything in sight. ¬†So in summary “the good the bad and the ugly” (HA good one!).

I was home recovering from surgery for almost 7 weeks РI managed to watch every season and every episode of Greys Anatomy.    Hello, a show about surgeons after going under the knife made perfect sense.  Plus my husband and I caught up on The Walking Dead.  Great shows but man did I have nightmares.  First being cut open and dying on the table to coming back to life trying to eat everyone in sight.  Yikes.

Gosh it feels good to be back.

June – Year 1

For all my devoted readers (all two of you) you may all know that June 2010 was a very rough month for me.  I lost a wonderful person that, without a doubt, made each day of my life full of love Рmy mom.  It was a very difficult time in my life and it really opened my eyes to many things.  I have truly appreciated truth, a true friend, love, alcohol, smiles, kisses, new friends and committment (perhaps not in that order).  I have also discovered people can big assholes.  I mean BIG ASSHOLES.

I know my mom is very proud of the woman/mom/wife/friend/sister/daughter I have turned out to be. ¬†She raised me to believe that no matter how the public/church/”friends”/family view me as a person or my beliefs, that I am ME and to never change. ¬†To love with my whole entire heart and soul and getting hurt just meant growing up. ¬†I know my mom is with me every day, every day I feel her. ¬†I love you mom.

With that being said, to all you BIG assholes guess what? ¬†I’m still standing. ¬†And I’m not afraid of any of you. ¬†No matter how much you want to hate me or the life I lead – you might as well close your eyes and walk away. ¬†Just because I dont do what YOU want me to do – or feel/pray/eat/shit/sleep/drink the way YOU want – oh effin well.

Have you forgotten? ¬†I’m my mother’s child.

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I’m not perfect
-and I don’t live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers…
make sure you hands are clean!”
‚ÄĒ¬†Bob Marley

Appreciation for you my friend

As a woman you experience periods in your life when you feel loved, wanted, needed and appreciated.  Well today is NOT that day for me.  In fact it hasn’t been my whole dang week. 


My boss said something to me yesterday that got me completely exhausted.¬† He said ‚ÄúWith my wife being home from surgery and I‚Äôm left with the kids, household stuff, cooking cleaning, driving, sports and work I‚Äôm drained.¬† Josie, how do you do it?¬† You do this every day.¬† You get the kids going you come to work then your off to your home to cook, drive, sports, wash, clean.¬† When the hell do you have time to shit?‚Ä̬† I stared at him and I immediately wanted to cry and oddly enough I actually had to think about when the last time I actually shit ‚Äď no need to panic with all the thinking about when I actually did made me have to do it.¬†


I honestly feel Mother’s Day or any day that a parent is recognized (Birthday, Anniversary’s or even Happy Hour) should be an every day event.  Sometimes we lose sight of appreciation for the people that wake up to care for us every day. 


I had an amazing mom.  Her every breath was for her children and grandchildren.  I unfortunately lost her almost one year ago June 25th and I have to tell you, if I could have just 5 seconds to give her a HUGE hug I would trade one of my children HAHA okay maybe not one of my children but you know what I mean. 


Take a moment and appreciate someone today.  For me I will say thank you to the bank teller that will cash my check and hand me my cash.  For if it wasn’t for that person’s pressing of key on that handy little computer I would have to wait in line for the ATM. 


Happy Hump Day!


Oh it must be hump day cause I’m feeling groovy

Over these past three and a half weeks I have been hard at work trying to improve my body both inside and out.¬† I’ve had to make some small sacrifices but in the end it will be all worth it.¬† Through my interesting (short) journey I have developed some new obsessions.¬† Dont Judge

#1 РWATER and not just any water I have been obsessing over Desani.  Up to 2 Liters a day and I swear if I pee one more РDAMN be right back!

#2 – Kettlebells – after using these babies I cant imagine working out with out them

#3 – Panty Liners – Have you ever complete a hard weight workout and then hit the treadmill for 15 minutes on an incline routine?¬† If you have then you know your butt and “area’s” sweat.¬† If yours dont then¬†well EFF off cause mine do!¬† And I prefer NOT to go into the grocery store with a wet croch, thank you very much.

#4 РRomaine Lettuce РThese are THEE best thing EVER!  If you have some tuna and some sandwich spread Рmix those bitches up and spread it in this fine piece of lettuce with a sliver of Zesty dill pickle and you got yourself a MEE-YUUMIE lunch.  Dont get me started on the plethora of wraps you can make with these bad boys!!

#5 – Barefoot Wine – Since I have been a non-beer drinker this handy dandy wine selection has been such a great thirst quencher.

#6 – Naked Juice SMOOTHIES – honestly the only reason I love them is because I like saying “I just had me a naa-ked” bar-chicka-wow-wow HA!

#6 РIce Cubes Рno not the rapper the actual ICE Рwater is boring boring boring with added texture its somewhat tolerable.  PLUS ice cubes in your wine help dilute it a bit :sigh: have I said Spring/Summer suck???  No?!?!  Damn shorts damn swimsuits damn them all!

#7 РLiquid Gel Advil РI just need to say one word РSORE.  These are a must have!

#8 – My iPod and earbuds – What would I do without my dearest iPod?¬† If I had to listen to my breathing and complaining while I workout I would seriously throw my workout DVD’s through a window.¬† :note to self send apology note to downstairs neighbors: who knew a DVD can do so much damage??¬†

My last obsession is a little tricky to post – so I’ll just say it vibrates :wink wink: HA!

Have a great DAY!  WOO HOO manana es Cinco De Mayo РOrale HAHAHAHA

Spring I HATE you

Yes, its Spring and the birds are chirping and the kids are getting ready for Spring Break.  As each day ends its another reminder of how close summer is.  And of course in the mail Victoria Secret reminds me of how much I have lacked my motivation (pretty much given up) on achieving my summer goal.  Victoria you can kiss it.

My best friend came over the other day and we got to talkin, at my age it seems my “in shape” clock has begun to slow down.¬†¬†Things dont function quite the same as they used to.¬† And some parts dont stand up to ridicule like they used to.¬† You know “talking” about exercising is all fine and dandy but actually doing it is a PAIN IN THE ASS.¬†

I have had weights here at work for almost two months now.¬† I have purchased a Yoga DVD and its still¬†in its wrapper.¬† I used to be full of energy – ready to take on the world and now all I want to do is sleep.¬† What happen to me?¬† No NO dont¬†say it, I’m NOT old!¬† I’m only 32!¬† Isnt that the new 25?¬† When I was 25 my butt stood proud and now it seems its sooo sad.¬†

Well I came in this morning and did about¬†10 minutes of weights and squats.¬† It felt pretty good.¬† I figure I can do another 10 minutes around 10 o’clock and another at 2 o’clock.¬† Thats¬†about 30 minutes during the day.¬† Not to bad if you break it down.¬† And I just may open that Yoga DVD and attempt 30 minutes of that while my pot roast is in the oven.¬† And why stop there . . maybe I can get about 5 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.¬† Yea Yea¬†thats¬†the ticket – PFFFFTTTT like I said its easier to “talk” about it and such a pain in the ass to actually do it.¬†

I’ll let you all know if I got through day one.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†

Spring I HATE you.

Pilates the Great

Is it already almost February?  Did I fall asleep somewhere and miss about two weeks??!?!  Well CRAP! 

With that being said and all the blogs about “getting healthy” and “eating right” to the fitness guru’s shouting “GET READY FOR SUMMER – get your summer bod¬†in 6 weeks!”¬† bleh¬†bleh¬†bleh … I find myself running out of time to get an actual routine going that will make me want¬†to workout.¬† You see for me (as you have read before) I get a green grass up my butt and decide to go crazy and work my flabs¬†out.¬† I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.¬† I HATE running and although I have a pooch in my lower abdomen I refuse to give up my booze.¬† Now, back to the healthy crap.¬†

I have been drinking more water and have been making healthier choices on my lunch menu.¬† I have even started¬†Pilates.¬† Now now dont¬†go all crazy, its not¬†like I take a class or go to the gym.¬† I watch the girl on my blackberry with ear buds on and do it at home :).¬† At first when all I did was watch the bi**h do it I thought “that sh*t is easy!¬† And each video is only 10 min NO problem I got this” The first day I went home and brought out the yoga mat I was psyched up.¬† Ready to go, even brought out a 15lb¬†dumb bell so I could do my squats and lunges after.¬† Pfffft¬†this was gunna¬†be a breaze!¬† OH HELL it soooo¬†wasnt!¬† Has anyone done Pilates?¬† Anyone???¬† HOLY crap and the magnificent (I cant¬†call her¬†the “b” word anymore – too much respect)¬†woman taking you through it was talking at the same time!¬† I couldnt¬†stop shaking!¬† I couldnt even complete all the routines!

I did the best I could and SCREW the squats and lunges at this point.  But all in all I felt great after.  My core felt like I put in some work and I only had two glasses of wine instead of the full bottle (well mainly because I was still shaking and that didnt feel nice).  The next morning I cursed every stair I had to climb.  I didnt give a rats ass if I looked crazy or like I had a stick up my butt I was SORE!

The second night of Pilates were intense!  I made noises I never knew I could make.  Yea I may have cursed a few times and actually almost completed a few routines without resting or wanting to puke.  And after I did a full 5 minutes of squats and lunges (hey its a start). 

So far its been 5 full days of at home pilates/squats/lunges each day lasting about 20 minutes.  I am honestly preparing myself for that P90X thing.  My friend not only uses it but sells it.  I am in no hurry to have a bikini body.  I figure 2 to 3 months should give me enough time . . . right?  Ugh I hate being a girl!

One taste was all it took

There was nothing I wanted more.  The feeling of it on my lips and in my mouth.  I longed for the subtle taste and flavors that would  gently glide down my throat.  The smell of it brought me to places and thoughts that had been locked away.  The sides of my jaw began to tingle with excitement.  I managed to dress for the occasion.  A nice relaxing outfit groomed for the right fit.  My hair let down and my stress of the day slowly melting away. 

Who wouldn’t want a feeling like this?¬† Wasnt this the reason we all worked so hard for, a moment of satisfaction?¬† I closed my eyes and brought it to my mouth.¬† Delicious.¬† It was exactly how I remembered it.¬† It’s like it¬†was made to fit¬†in my hands and prepared for only my¬†mouth.¬† It had a connection with me and it knew I needed it just as much, in its own way, as it needed me.

Of course one taste wouldnt be enough.¬† There’s no satisfaction in just having one¬†try.¬† I took it¬†into my mouth once again¬†and took another big swallow.¬† Mmmmm, it had me the first time I had ever experienced it.

I do LOVE my ice cold beer.  HEY where was your mind at?