Archive for the ‘ Irritated ’ Category

Facebook – I see you

Well good morning good morning

Now that I have my cup of Joe and more importantly you can see my pretty nails (I’m so proud of my new girly art skills) , lets get into the lovely topic of Facebook.

My husband and I decided that leaving facebook was the best for us.  We felt that privacy was a HUGE factor and also we really didnt see it as a positive tool in our lives.  Since then our teenagers have made it a habitual daily thing to log every piece of their lives online for all to see.  Although we dont have a facebook we do have our ways of monitoring whats being posted by our teens.  One of those ways is their other parents.  My daughter’s dad monitors her facebook religously and we thought my step sons mom would monitor his posts as well.

For the past couple of weeks my step son has been very verbal about things that go on in our home.  Of course I’m a step parent so of course I was the target.  Its all good though, being a parent and not a friend to your child can do that especially if your the “step” parent.  I wont go into it in detail but I will say this – shame on you and thank you.  Catching his handy work and the non mention of certain people’s actions actually provided a great communication exercise that benefited our lil family.  It also proves exactly what type of person(s) are out there.  Lets grow up, shall we.

Okay time for the catch up wrap up . . . . . Since September I have celebrated 10 years of marriage (bowing and thanking all of my 4 supporters/fans), had a full hysterectomy and got really good at smiling even though I feel like smashing everything in sight.  So in summary “the good the bad and the ugly” (HA good one!).

I was home recovering from surgery for almost 7 weeks – I managed to watch every season and every episode of Greys Anatomy.    Hello, a show about surgeons after going under the knife made perfect sense.  Plus my husband and I caught up on The Walking Dead.  Great shows but man did I have nightmares.  First being cut open and dying on the table to coming back to life trying to eat everyone in sight.  Yikes.

Gosh it feels good to be back.


Damn did I say that?

Well it has come to my attention that I apparently talk too much shit while I drink.  In some ways I can agree with that.  Maybe I’m a little angry bitch or maybe I am not the type of person who thinks its okay to smile to your face and talk behind your back.  One way or the other your going to find out what I said so I might as well just tell it to your face.  My husband explained that I could be nicer about it.  I can see his point.  I mean, my mom did raise me to believe “if you have nothing good to say just dont say it at all”. 

I am no longer close to my husbands family because I have told them all where to go.  I no longer have a few close friends of mine because I’ve also told them where to go (they werent very good friends).  After my mother died I kinda lost it a little (just a tad) and didnt care what came out of my mouth.  But now I’m honestly annoyed with myself.  Its like a bad habit you cant get rid of.  I hear myself telling my brain “dont say it, just shut up and dont say it” but somewhere between my brain and down to my mouth it gets lost in translation and plop out it goes like word vomit.  Why cant I stop myself??? 

Today is the first game of my lil one’s baseball season.  And boy is my mouth going to be put to the test.  I cant stand most of the people there.  CAN. NOT. STAND.  But my son wants to play. 

So like the song goes I’m gunna “put on a happy face” – Bleh

Do Over Please

Dont you just hate  those mornings that when the moment you wake up its like a bomb goes off?  Normally, I have pretty quick mornings – get the kids up and dressed and out the door.  Normally, the mornings run smooth and easy – yeah there are some arguments here and there and bit of dirty looks from one sibling to the other but normally my mornings are pretty snazzy.

Well this morning was not at all snazzy or even one bit a part of the word normal.  :closing my eyes taking a deep breath and gulping a big swig of my coffee:

BEEP BEEP BEEP went the alarm at approximately 6:15am.  My husband has already left to the gym (at 430am).  Okay time to start the day – Get up grab the dog and take him for the morning walk.  “Come on Sabyn lets go” maybe he wasnt ready to make his morning début so he laid there staring at me.  “Come on Sabyn its cold outside so we need to make this quick” he just stares.  :SIGH: “Okay big boy lets go” I bend down pick him up (he’s 55lbs at 6 months) and help him along to the stairs.  I have to practically drag him to the grass.  He walked around sniffed and squatted.  “Great, now come on lets goo inside” Nope he wasnt having it.  First the dog didnt want to go outside now the dog didnt want to go inside . . geeeez. 

After hauling him up the stairs take him in, feed him and give him his morning medicine (which means I shove my hand down his throat while he gags and pushes me away – have I mentioned how much fun I’m having at this point?) I proceed to wake up the rest of the clan.  My 15 yr old daughter has already left for school (she’s the smart one to leave early enough before the boys open their eyes).  I go into my 9 yrs old’s room and turn the light on “Okay pop time to get up its Monday – Your clothes are on the bed” …. he mumbles, farts and turns over.  “Come on son we have 20 minutes” … mumbles, farts and covers his head with the pillow.  Grrrreeeeaaattt :BIG SIGH:

I leave the room to head to my 13yr old’s room — knock knock “hey poppa its 6:45” – grumble “k mom” . . . I head back to my 9 yr old’s room and he’s still covered in the bed.  I grab the blankets “Come on baby lets go!” and from that point until we left at 730 is pretty much a blur.

I know there was some crying in there along with yelling (and that was just from me) theres no telling what the boys were fighting about or yelling about.  I know the door slammed a few times and maybe the milk was spilled somewhere (i’ll have to go home for lunch and really take a look at the damage). 

Theres one thing I dislike (well maybe there are a few things but) the most is yelling at my kids first thing in the morning.  It makes me physically ill. 

I finally make it in to work and low and behold the hubby calls to check on how everything went this morning.  Thats when I cracked I bawled all the events out in one sobbing breath.  He said he was sorry the morning went bad and that he’ll have a talk with the kids later (hat usually NEVER happens).  I tried to explain it wasnt the fact that the morning was hard it was the fact that I yelled.  He didnt get it . . Can I just have a do over?  Please?

Money to Lemons

“Money is the root of all evil, and yet it is such a useful root that we cannot get on without it any more than we can without potatoes.”~ Louisa May Alcott

I couldnt agree more.  The potatoes part, I’m still kinda confused on but the part about money I get.  Lets look at some examples:

Ted Williams – I’m sure you have all heard about him.  The homeless man with the golden voice.  Well now that the man has come into some money his beloved daughters are out for blood.  He was recently detained by LAPD because of a shouting match he was in with his daughter over money.  Now come on now, the man was homeless – as in NO HOME and now that he can actually better himself, here come the jealous people to try to get a piece of the action.  SHAME ON YOU!

Evelyn Adams – Now get this, not only did this broad win the lottery in 1985 she ALSO won the lottery in 1986!  Lucky right?  Nope, she won over $5.4 Million dollars and she’s broke.  Broke Broke Broke and lives in a trailer!  How the hell does someone in the 80’s spend $5.4 MILLION dollars?  The story goes that she gave it away.  People came out of the woods and needed a helping hand.  Honey, didnt your momma teach you the word “NO”?? 

William “Bud” Post – This poor guy won $16 MILLION dollars in 1988, and its like everyone sued him.  From his girlfriend to his own family.  His own brother hired a hit man to KILL the poor bastard.  And it was all over money.  Now he lives off his social security check.

Jack Whittaker – He won over $314 MILLION dollars in 2002.  He spent over $114 MILLION in 4 years!  Lets wrap our minds around this one.  In order for him to spend that much that would mean he would have had to spend $28 and a half MILLION per year.  WHAT THE FUCK is he buying for $28 MILLION dollars?  Yeah I get that everyone was suing him for his past debt but damn dude thats a lot of dough to spend in a short amount of time. 

The list goes on and on.  Money is evil, period.  And greed is its demon.  I honestly feel sorry for Mr. Williams.  He made very bad choices that had ended him up a horrible position of being homeless.  Now that he has a second chance – it seems the problems just get worse. 

On a better note – did you know adding lemon juice to your drinking water (healthy to drink 3 liters a day) can speed up your metabolism up to 33%.  AND it cleanses the liver (for all my fellow alcohol drinkers – thats a SILVER lining) and everyone knows the liver is the main organ that burns fat.  Theres a little tidbit of information for ya 😉

BC versus AD – where does 2011 fit in?

Hey guys – long time no blog.  Har Har Har

I have a question for ya.  Im watching Wednesday night TV (aka Reba because I only get the tube between 8 and 9) and many of the commercials are about being “germ free” or “use clorox it gets rid of 99% of germs”.  And you know it got me thinking.  Back in the day (bible days) they didnt have clorox or germ killer or even hand sanitizer – and get this – they lived to be like 400 years old!  They didnt have refrigerators to keep their chicken fresh or humid temp sensitive drawers to keep our vegetables crisp.  If you think about it – they didnt even have running water.

Back then they had bacteria eating their skin . . hello scarlet fever!  Now we have cancer, heart disease, AIDS, STD’s, plastic being injected into our bodies to look younger!  WTF is going on with us!?!  How can we tell our children its ok to be who you are when everything around us is screaming CHANGE YOURSELF!  Its a scarey world we’re living in and its only gunna get worse if we dont change. 

With all these birds dying and the whole “end of the world” coming scenarios – it makes me wonder . . . . “what the hell are we doing???”  We have to be doing something wrong right?  We have all of this new “technology” all of this new “ways to live longer” but in truth it seems like we’re killing ourselves quicker. 

In the olden (urrg sorry spelling) days couples (gay or straight) stayed with each other “for good or worse” but now the media teaches our children that marriage doesnt matter.  And if you want to get married – hey write E or TLC so that maybe you can get a reality show.  And HELLO if your 16 get pregnant!  MTV will hit you up! 

What it comes down to is this – we are a truely fucked up generation. 

Damn now I need a drink

Blemish and Va-jay-jay cream

This morning – like every morning, I come into work and begin my internet search.  Check out what my best friends (the celebrities) are up to and what new fad I’ll try out this coming weekend.  But this morning I had a purpose for my search.  A couple of days ago I woke up with this MASSIVE pimple on my forehead.  You know the kind that hurts when you raise your eyebrows.  Of course I was pissed I was developing my new friend.  I haven’t had a zit since I was 16.  Maybe my skin is reverting back to my teenage years, I don’t know, but my ass/belly need to follow my skin’s lead.  Back to my point, I have that twitch that if I feel a bump I have the urge to scratch/squeeze that motha dry.  Unfortunately, the forehead is thee worse place to dissect – and really how do pimples form around this area?  Its not like theres enough cushion between the bone and skin to collect dirt/oil/nastiness in the first place.  Go on, feel your forehead – I’ll wait .  . . ..  .. . its like rubbing a thin layer of skin against the bone.  

My new friend formed right above my left eyebrow.  On Tuesday, even though my 9 yr old told me not to mess with it, I headed to the bathroom and began my surgical procedure.  BAD IDEA.  Nothing came out and all I felt was pain.  Grrrreeeaaaat so I did what any other normal person would do.  I packed some toothpaste on that bastard, crossed my fingers and hoped it would be better the next morning. 

Wednesday morning came and I burst out of bed and washed my face.  OH HELL TO THE NO!  It was WORSE!  It looked like I had a bullet hole (you know the kind you see in a movie) the size of a pencil eraser in my forehead.  Well crap!  My husband came in the bathroom and his first words were “what the hell happen to you?” – uh hello Mr Man you didn’t notice the toothpaste aroma coming from my head last night?  I briefly explained what happen and blamed him for it (it had to be someone else’s fault, it HAD to be).  I apparently burned my skin with the toothpaste.  I’m telling you its freaken NASTY!  I have a triple bday party to go to tonight and if I don’t find a beanie to hid this monster I aint going! 

Ok so back to my search – the best home remedy for blemishes (under statement of the century but whatever) and I came across a web site that gave great advice.  Lemon, oddly enough, is the best thing for blemishes.  Of course we don’t have lemon here at the office (what kind of business you think we’re running?) but we sure as hell have some limes (who doesn’t?).  After my morning visit to the facilities to rub the lime juices over my growth, I came back to my desk and read further.  Off to the side of this web site there is an ad for Vagina Tightening Cream.  No need to re-read that last line – I’ll retype VAGINA TIGHTENING CREAM.  

Of course I clicked the link (you know for research purposes) and the first line states: You probably have one question in your mind – How can I tighten my Vagina? (my first question in my mind went more like “WTF?  The Vagina gets loose?????”) I read the advertisement – I was baffled.  I immediately called my husband. 

“Is my Va-Jay-Jay loose honey?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I read online that my flower loses shape as I get older and there’s a cream to fix that” 

“Babe, your poo poo (his nick name for my vagina) is (insert dirty talk here) and everytime I (insert really dirty talk here) I (insert topper).”  – due to privacy and fowl language the rest of the conversation is prohibited on this blog 😉 

The point of this blog – Do not attempt to irritate a zit formed on your forehead and Lemon is the best home remedy for blemishes.  Now where did I put my Twix?

Hot for Teacher – I think NOT

Once again I have been a single parent for the last couple (3 days 12 hours and 48 minutes – but who’s counting) of days. So far my older ones have been such a . . . . a . . . well they’ve been nice. I really cant complain, the dishes have been done (minus the dried food stuck to the edges) and the bathrooms swept. Today they will be graduating to using the vacuum (Lord help me). My youngest has been testing every piece of my very existence. Like every other week that I have the chore of taking and picking up the kids, I leave work and pick up my youngest, bring him back here to my job so that he can get his homework done. On Tuesday I walked into the school office and was confronted by the teacher.

“Excuse Mrs. (insert my last name here). Im Mrs. (insert teachers name here), your sons writing and reading teacher.”

“Oh, hi there. Is everything ok?” – just then the Vice Principle comes out of the office and stood there beside the teacher. Immediately I felt my heart pounding. Well fuck, what the hell did I do? “Is there something going on at home? Your son mentioned to me he does not have the time to do his homework. He had mentioned that you told him you all didn’t have time.” As she said this she began looking at me up and down. “Education is very important and should be taken seriously”

Okay WTF is happening? I stared down at my son and he just stood there looking at me like “OH SHIT!” – “Im sorry Mrs.? . . yea well umm what are you talking about? My mother n law picks up my son every day and from what I understand he has been doing his homework”

The bitch actually chuckled when she said “Well we all know what happens when we assume” – yeah I’ve heard the saying assuming only makes an ”ass” out of “u” and “me”.

“Can we get to the point? I left work to be here and I need to get back” – yeah Im a bitch so sue me, but I was smiling (well smirking but its all the same right?)

“Your son has not turned in any of his writing/reading homework for two weeks” – WTF!!!???!!!

“Are you kidding me?” – It was like someone slapped me with a book. I was waiting for a CPS officer to bust through the door and take my son away. “I had no idea – im so sorry. But wait wait . . two weeks? Why wasn’t I called or notified after the 2nd or 3rd day he didn’t turn anything in? My number is on file and an email address”

“Well I spoke to your son and he”

“You spoke to my son and he told you what? He’s 9, he’s not the parent I AM. I’ll tell you what, this is going to get fixed. Next time he misses one day of homework call me ASAP”. With that I took my son and left. Its AMAZING how everything happens when my husband works late. Crap I’m soooo lucky.

Silver Lining – I cant think of one but after a few drinks this weekend I’ll come up with something 🙂