Muffins ALL around

Its official and I’m proud to admit it, I have a muffin top. This new personal attribute (did I use that right?) I have to thank my 18 new little friends that come by and bring me smiles and laughter and yes the carne asada fries. YUM – anywho yes I have a muffin top.

 At first it began as a little muffin – the pre muffin bump and I wasn’t too afraid of it. It would pop out every so often (Wednesday thru Sunday) but now it has blossomed to a whole flavor. I mean now it has frosting AND sprinkles.

Normally I wouldn’t care how this whole thing works out but now it’s starting to affect my bedroom life (yes now kiddies its time to read yet another blog). I mean seriously how sexy am I with my muffin top over my under-do’s?

What makes things worse is that my bedroom assistant (yes I do have one and no its not all about the vibrating tools-although I am OPEN to new inventions) has been “working out” and I say it with my fingers making the actual quote motion. So yea I feel a little out of shape.

Normally, being a female under the age of 35, I would buy the best gym membership call the best (aka cheapest but certified, well maybe) plastic surgeon and make my New Years resolution to be the sexiest woman mom (GAG) blab la bla. Now that’s “normally”. And well since you all have read my blogs you all know I am thee furthest from being normal. And so now I have a bit of a dilemma. I hate loathe spit upon cant stand HATE (wait did I already say loathe?) exercising. Period. PERIOD. So yea I hate exercising – in case you haven’t guessed it. BUT and I say it as my HUGE butt – LOVE sex. I love it. But lately I have been feeling a little “not in the mood”. Only cause when our stomaches clash they make that damn fart sound. And HELLO that is HELLA funny! I mean can you imagine getting all into it and :enter fart noise here: its like instant giggles! Well after that how do you get back into it without trying to avoid the fart sound (for those of you who don’t have that problem FUCK off).

So I need some advice. HELP – oh BTW I am NOT giving up my boos so that’s NOT an option! HAHA Have a HAPPY Friday

  1. Starve yourself. Eat crackers and toast and suck it in as much as you can all day. That should work it out, right?
    I wannnntttt a bed room assistant!!!!!

    • HAHAHA – I tried starving myself but that only lasted about an hour or so .. Im trying TRYING to do about 10 min of abs in the morning and 20 to 30 of the eleptical after work. I just started that yesterday we’ll see how long this lasts..

      HAHAHA Bedroom assistant ;-P

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