8 Steps – shall we begin

November – my goal will be “better”.  “Better” eating habits, choices, sleep bla bla bla etc. just “better” in all things.  Even in the area where people may not seem to be important – you know cursing “better” throwing pennies at crazed drivers “better” – you get what I mean.

This morning, in honor of November’s goal, I brought a breakfast.  I usually just have a cup of coffee to start my day (5 spoons of sugar and some fake creamer – yum healthy) but today I thought “hmmmm, it would be better if I try this whole breakfast thing – they say it helps the thinking process or digestion I dont know but its supposed to be a better way to start off the work day”.  Todays breakfast menu – Instant Oatmeal (trying to suppress my gag reflex) and a banana. 

First off let me say this there is no right way to eat a banana – nope none zip nada no way.  You can break it into bite size morsels or even mash it (even that looks like something that I would see coughed up – again suppressing the gag reflex) but even so – its just an odd fruit to eat.  Its almost 10 am and I have not eatin or attempted to make my instant oatmeal let alone peeled that succulent banana.  Sexy right – I know I know but stay focused people.

And hello am I the only one who sings that Gwen Stefanie song just to spell the word?  And speaking of that song – considering my weekend activities, I’m starting consider making it my November anthem.  Grab some deep red lipstick, bust out some dickies, grab some of my homies and kick some ass.  LOL I’m sorry I cant even type that with a straight face. 

Since I have no clue on becoming a better person (thats the rumor now a days) I decided to turn to my trusted educational tool – google.  And to my surprise there are tons of sites on how to become a better person, wife, drinker and so on.  I decided on a 8 step program.  2 steps a week and I should be golden by December.  Lets see here, I’m already a bit behind.

Step 1 – Consider Your Impact On Others – This one I got handled before I even got to work.  As my husband was dropping me off to work today a nice gentleman, who was clearly in a hurry to work, screamed and honked for us to get our “slow moving ass out da way”.  I thought to myself “hmm this nice young man probably had a rough night sleep and if I can just brighten up his day with a smile (remember blog – Have You Smiled Today)” So as my husband pulled up next to the impatient gentleman, I rolled down my window threw him a dollar of quarters while I said (in my outside voice) “here now get yourself a cup of coffee and pull your finger out your ass” I smiled and winked and we drove off.  Now you see that gentleman will be able to consider “wow even though Im a self absorbed asshole who clearly thinks Im thee only one on the road this morning – that nice lady considered my finger dilemma and topped it with a cup of joe”.  Impact – woah now thats a powerful word 😉

Im excited about November – now you all go out and be a better you and Impact someone 🙂

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  1. WTF! What happened to my like button? Oh there it is!
    I loved this blog! Seriously I sing that Gwen Stfani song too. If you don’t you must be some kind of Harvard genius or something! Some of us normal folk get confused with all the ana’s.
    And thank god, you didn’t attempt to eat the banana, I repeat do not eat the banana! You might have ended up on YouTube “Sexy Lady Giving Banana a Blow Job” when all you were doing was having a healthy breakfast.
    I give you the Award of the day for what you did to the day! You are crazy and hilarious!
    Classic line: that nice lady considered my finger dilemma and topped it with a cup of joe”.

    • LMAO! Your comment has me rolling!!1 Thank you friend 🙂 And the banana is stil intact and browning as I type 🙂

    • Vodka and Ground Beef
    • November 6th, 2010

    “here now get yourself a cup of coffee and pull your finger out your ass”

    This kind of charity and kindness is hard to teach. I’m just glad I have you as an example in my life of how to behave. You did the right thing. No, wait. You did an amazing thing.

    I love G.Stefani. I want that yellow banana car, her abs, and her soul.

    • 😉 Gwen and I have a special relationship – she has the sheriff deliver me love notes every three months and sometimes her attorney shows up to court to make sure Im treated fairly 😉

  2. Yes!!!! I love the whole idea of what you’re doing! Sort of like my blog, but different. I can’t wait to read your steps and follow along. I may even use a few, if that’s okay with you.

    Speaking of b-a-n-a-n-a-s, the best way to eat one is frozen and covered in chocolate. Just sayin’.

  3. Of course 🙂 Anyway I can help my friends

    MMMM frozen banana with chocolate . . . YUM

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