Brownie anyone?

Last night our dinner table (yes we finally got one and couches too!) conversation was a bit interesting.  Usually, my husband and I share stories of our day and laugh at the funny things all the while our children each burst out a piece of random information, which usually takes our attention off our current subject and focuses on theirs.  It’s not a bad thing – the weird thing about being a parent is that you never forget where you left off.  

Any who, my husband begins to tell me about his co-worker.  My daughter was the only one at the table at this time.  So the story goes – my husband’s co-worker was installing a door and its frame (they work for the Navy Hospital – those doors weigh anywhere from 200 lbs to almost 500 lbs) and the door that was leaning on its holder slipped and fell on top of him causing him to jerk forward and gash his head.  “OH MY GOODNESS – good thing you guys work at the hospital” I said but my husband just shook his head and began to laugh.  “What is it?  Please tell me he’s ok” my husband then said “well he doesn’t want anyone to know – he ate a ‘brownie’ on Wednesday and if anyone finds out he’ll get fired”.  Just then my daughter perked up and said “what’s wrong with eating a brownie?” 

My husband and I just looked at each other.  I knew if I didn’t speak up my husband would say some bizarre thing and make my daughter question further.  

So I spoke my mind “It’s a special brownie honey and that means they bake it with shit” – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 

“Are you serious?  Actual poop?” 

“Yup, so if anyone ever asks you to have or bite a special brownie just remember it has shit in it and even though they try to deny it that friend wont know for sure what’s in it because they probably got it from someone else who mixed in the poop”. 

“Seriously, that’s nasty.  I’m never eating homemade brownies again” that’s my girl – and my D.A.R.E. education for the evening was complete. 

“Nicely put” was my husbands response to my intellectual insight.  Move over (umm so trying to think of a clever mom type person that had the answers to everything – OH!) Mrs. Brady (yea that’s the best I could come up with) I’m taking over this mother of the year thing and I’m taking no prisoners. 

But just as I thought our conversation was over she came out with “Did you guys ever eat stuff like that?” 

Hmmmm . . . I personally have never done a drug (besides alcohol and cigarettes) in my life.  You know how they say “only 5 out of 100 will OD or only 1 out of 1,000 will go blind” I always felt (and still do) that I’ll be one of those 5.  I get caught for everything and I suck at lying so I just stayed away from fire and enjoyed watching others burn (hey I was a teenager). 

“(insert my daughter’s name here) baby we did a lot of stupid things when we were young but drugs was never one of them” – and this was true for both of us.  Yes we were underage drinkers and yes we had premarital sex but it just so happens we never experimented with drugs.  

But she didn’t ask us about sex or alcohol.  

She must have lost interest in us because after that she just got up and left the table.  The suddenly, our 9 year old appeared “I heard what you said about special brownies, can I make some for my teacher?” – well crap.  I just know Im going to get a phone call about this one tomorrow.

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  1. Lol. It just so happens its Red Ribbon week (DARE program) at my daughters school this morning. She is 5 and has no idea what drugs are. So I was asking her, her three yr old sister, and their 1 yr old brother, “Who is Drug-free raise your hand?” I raise my hand .. they raise their hand.
    Case closed for a couple more years.

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