Another Hump Day

6:45AM – Good Morning all .. its been one of those weeks.  Cant remember the last time I posted but I have my coffee and ready for these fingers to do their magic (could have been phrased different but who am I kidding).

Monday night football came and went and yes I had too much wine.  September’s goal is not going to well.  “Forgetting” is extremely hard.  I have tried a few different ways to “forget”:

Alcohol – NOT a good idea.  To drink past the point of “forgetting” or even conscious is never healthy.  Especially if it seems like its turning into a daily thing. 

Household chores and Kids – Drowning myself in household duties, work and kids only gets me exhausted and deprives “alone” time with the man (which is the focus on this little monthly thing in the first place).

Did I mention Alcohol?  Well you get what Im saying.  I know there is a healthier way of getting past the past.  Right now “pretending” the big elephant isnt in the room is NOT working.  We both know its there.  Its like we’re both waiting for it to either crush us or just leave.  Either way NOTHING is getting solved. 

I have a lot of personal healing that I need to do myself.  And it starts with cutting out the toxic people.  You know which ones Im talking about – the “friends” (both male and female) who have a whole different reason of why they want to be in my life.  I have a few male friends that tell me “I want to be here for you” RED flag – especially when I feel my most volunerable . . I dont need the extra drama. 

So my question today is – what the hell do I do now?  Are there specific steps on getting over infedility – did I even spell that word right?  I have a HUGE test coming up – I mean HUGE!  My hubby will be going up north to hang out with his family, although he is taking my boys I know there will be temptation there (its a house party event).  I will not be attending such a soiree which means he will be gone overnight.  YES I panicked yesterday – which caused a fight – which resulted in me cleaning, laundry and making a HUGE dinner to make up for the fight.  Just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt. 

I am going to be a spazz case up in till he lives and a MESS while he’s gone and a freak until he gets home.  All in all – not a very happy person. 

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