Mom

Hi mom.  Can you believe Monday is my baby’s birthday?  He misses you.  We all miss you.  Its only been 2 months since I lost you.  And it still doesnt feel real.  Good Ol Dad stopped calling long ago.  But I guess we all knew that would happen.  Old habits are hard to break, especially 30 years worth. 

I havent felt you lately.  Im sorry I havent been doing to well lately.  I cant say I have been trying very hard either.  I keep falling mom.  I keep losing my balance and falling.  I feel so bad going to Dee’s house.  Passing your room.  I cant do it very well.  Damn mom I miss you.  I miss you so much.  You werent suppossed to leave so early.  You still had so much fight in you.  Much more fight than I could ever have.  I didnt realize how much I took your presence for granted until it wasnt there anymore.  Your voice, your touch even your beautiful smile. 

I picked up the phone last night and pressed “mom” just to hear it ring.  And deep down I was hoping you would answer.  And I sat there thinking of all the things I would say.  And mom all that kept coming to me was I love you.  I love you so much.  I know you loved me.  I know you sacrificed and worked hard to keep us ok.  And you did a wonderful job. 

Thank you for being my mom.    I love you momma

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